Home Again!

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
 And He delights in his way."
(Psalm 37:23 NKJV)

Pulling up to the driveway yesterday afternoon after work, it was so good to see Matt standing outside with his brothers checking out the used boat and motor his brother had just purchased. Being a typical male, his brother was sure this would cheer Matt up. He was probably right. For me, seeing Matt upright and at home was enough to bring cheer to my heart.

Do we have answers? Not really. We know where the problem isn't -- but we don't know what actually caused the drop in Matt's blood counts. For now, he's stable and back home with us. We'll count our blessings.

On Friday more blood work will be completed in an attempt to determine if possibly the problem is that Matt is not making enough red blood cells.  Monday we head back up to Rochester to see the oncologist for a re-evaluation after this most recent hospitalization. It's still unclear whether his counts will permit him to have the second round of chemo previously scheduled for that day.

Our days may feel uncertain, and rightly so. We never know what the next day or week will bring. One thing that is unchangeable is our God to whom we cling. He is in control. He has ordered the steps that we are walking in. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in the LORD with all our heart -- and not to lean on our own understanding. We don't have to understand. We don't have to know what tomorrow may bring. We just need to keep trusting in our most trustworthy Heavenly Father.

Fighting Fear with Joy!

This young Canadian living in Japan during these horrific days explains why she's back at the school working. A quote in her blog from "Suheir Hammad: Poems of war, peace, women, power" reads as follows: 

"She tells stories about the supposedly powerless women who fight in their own way; beating their fear by going on with normal life and finding something to give them joy. Doing simple things like keeping a music school open no matter how dangerous the situation is, that's how these women kept their souls alive during horrible times."

http://hezcultureshock.blogspot.com/2011/03/fighting-fear-with-joy.html

Good News Despite the Lack of Answers!

A quick update. Thanks for praying! Matt's white blood cells stayed up. He had the colonoscopy early this afternoon, and we finally saw the doctor about 7:30 tonight. The lower GI tract is clear. There was nothing to explain the low blood counts. The doctor explained the next step clearly. It made total sense to me for about a minute, but my brain cells aren't functioning up to par and when I went back over it in my mind there was a definite loss of understanding. There is something about Matt being hospitalized that leaves me exhausted! My brain doesn't function so well when it's exhausted! But, like many things in life, I don't need to understand them all. What I remember is enough for now. No iron supplements through Friday. More tests on Friday to determine if the problem is that he's not making enough red blood cells. The good news is his blood counts stayed up after last night's blood transfusion. The great news is that he comes home tomorrow. :-)

Our Newest Challenge

Three days, seven units of blood, and an endoscopy later, we still have no definite answers. We do know Matt's upper GI tract is clear. Tomorrow he is slated for a colonoscopy to determine if the problem lies in the lower GI tract -- as long as his white blood count is high enough. Presently it is too low. 

I left him tonight with this gallon container of laxative sitting on the table beside him in preparation for tomorrow's colonoscopy. That would look daunting to me just to drink if it were just water -- and he was to get as much down as possible before midnight! 

Later they will be giving yet another blood transfusion in an attempt to boost his white blood cell count high enough to even be able to have the colonoscopy.

So there's our newest challenge. Matt is preparing for a test that will have to be canceled if they can't get his white blood cell count high enough. Please pray!

Buy a Great Book -- Proceeds go to Dale Shaylor's Liver Transplant!

Earlier, I have written about Dale Shaylor, who used to fly for us in Venezuela. He is in desperate need of a liver transplant, but cannot get on the registry until he raises more funds. Mike Dawson, also a missionary in Venezuela, has written two books, "Growing up Yanomamö" and "I Can See the Shore." He will donate the profit from all book sales sold through their website for the next two months towards Dale's transplant. His books are excellent. If you are interested in purchasing any, go to http://www.mpaviation.org/store-2/.

          

Mission Padamo Aviation

www.mpaviation.org

Last week, we were very disappointed to get the word that our fuel barge had sunk losing all materials and fuel on board. Our biggest worry was the fuel, which up here, is almost impossible to get as it is, then to lose it before we got it up here, was just very frustrating.

Another Turn In the Road

The exhausted worn-out feeling was joined by a new symptom, that of being lightheaded. Given the fact that Matt's blood counts had been lower than expected this past Monday, we had been instructed to call if any signs of anemia appeared. Whether this was anemia or chemo related symptoms was uncertain, so blood tests were ordered. With the results showing that his blood count had dropped another 6 points since Monday, he was soon in the ER, and then admitted to the Auburn hospital.

That's where I left him late this evening. He was hooked up to monitors, special wraps on his leg kept the blood circulating, and they were to arrive shortly to begin a blood transfusion. Despite all the wires, he was still my smiling cheerful hubby.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

One Down...

The first treatment of chemo is over. One down, three more treatments to go at two week intervals before the next CT scan. I'm not sure who was more pleased after the nurse came by to disconnect the needle, pouch and tubing -- Matt or Mocha. Mocha is my Jack Russell Terrier who routinely rejects me for Matt!  

Knowing Matt's phobia for needles, I know he is thrilled to KNOW the needle is no longer in his chest -- especially one that felt like it was being stabbed right into his heart! At least that's how he described it. Having watched the nurse take the needle, and yes, stab it into the medi-port which was surgically placed under Matt's skin above the heart, well, I couldn't exactly argue the statement!

But remember Mocha -- my Jack Russell Terrier who routinely rejects me for Matt -- well she is definitely pleased to no longer having Matt cautiously keeping her away from all the hoses and connections. Presently Matt is stretched out on the couch watching old reruns with Mocha happily snuggled up to him. They look quite content.

Considering the toxicity of the treatment, Matt is feeling remarkably well after this first treatment. He's experienced only minor side effects thus far -- though admittedly his energy and strength is a bit zapped. Yes, that explains the stretched out on the couch watching old reruns with Mocha. Mostly right now we're just thankful for how well he is feeling. What a blessing.

Chemo 101

Chemotherapy. The dreaded word. The dreaded treatment. A word synonymous with horrific side affects and loss of hair -- though hair loss obviously isn't Matt's greatest concern! But still, a treatment that states without a doubt that you have cancer.

Matt began the dreaded treatment today. Anti-nausea meds were followed by a  two hour drip of drugs one and two combined. Later, instruction was given as a pouch/pump was attached  to slowly administer drug number three over the next two days. Five hours later we were finally heading home.

Thus far it has been wonderfully anti-climatic. I know by tomorrow night he might be experiencing side affects. I know there are accumulative effects to consider. But for today it's been such a relief and blessing to see none of the possible initial side affects or reactions pushing their ugly heads to the surface.

 One chemo treatment at at time. One day at a time. God's grace is sufficient.

A First Hand Account of the Tragedy in Japan

We are definitely not an island unto ourselves. We're a global world. Our hearts ache for tragedies that occur outside our borders. The link below will take you to a blog post giving a first hand account of the day of the earthquake. It is written by the sister of a missionary kid who rooms with my parents while attending nursing school.

http://hezcultureshock.blogspot.com/2011/03/jishin-my-story.html

Laura Story - Blessings

Earlier, I shared Laura's story behind her new song Blessings.
Click on the play button below to be blessed by the song itself.

Praying for a Miracle

After much prayer and discussion, Matt has made the choice to take chemo. The tentative plan is that next week Matt will go in for an outpatient surgery to have a medi-port put in. The Monday following that he will begin chemo. We are waiting for the outpatient surgery to be set up.

We appreciate your prayers as we accept the prognosis given us as a probable reality, while recognizing that a prognosis is not synonymous with God's will. We are ready to accept whatever outcome God has for us in this, but until God makes it clear otherwise, we ask that you continue to pray with us for a miracle.

Blessings Through Raindrops & Tears

Click on the video above to hear Laura Story explain
the background behind her new song Blessings.
She speaks of learning how blessings don't always come through prosperity,
but often through raindrops and tears.
It is such an encouragement and testimony!

Hope in the Lord

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31 

The cancer has grown. There was an urgency in the air as treatment options were presented, attesting to the doctor's concern. With the diagnosis moving from an indolent, slow-growing cancer back to an aggressively-growing one, that should be expected.  It seemed a bit surreal to be discussing quality of life over quantity of life. Had it really come to this? -- It had. 


The prognosis is bleak. If Matt does nothing, the average life expectancy is 2-4 months. If he takes chemo, you get to add on another 2-3 months of life. That's not a prognosis that inspires, brings hope, or strengthens you in your inner being.


Thankfully God offers a different hope. Only God can offer hope in a hopeless situation. Not hope in a prognosis, but hope in HIM.  As we keep our hope in the Lord, He has promised to renew our strength. If we hope in the Lord, He has promised that we will soar on wings like eagles, that we will be able to run and not grow weary, and that we will be able to walk and not be faint. Right now I could settle for just being able to walk and not be faint, but we'll claim the promise that we will also be able to soar on wings like the eagle!

My Friend in Need

Can you help me to help a friend in need of a new liver?

Dale Shaylor is a missionary kid turned missionary. 
As a missionary pilot he flew us to our remote jungle home when we were missionaries in Venezuela with New Tribes Mission.
He is currently in need of a life-saving liver transplant.

Transplants weren't in the picture when the same disease killed Dale Shaylor's grandfather, also a missionary in Venezuela, at age 46 in the 1960s. Shaylor discovered he had the chronic condition of Hepatitis B when he was in his teens, as the family was being tested to receive hepatitis vaccines.

He had one bout with the disease four years after that diagnosis, but didn't really get seriously ill until last Thanksgiving Day. And, after chronic hepatitis symptoms left him in a coma from the toxins his body couldn't flush, Dale Shaylor knew he would have to go back to the United States for a transplant."They don't have the medical facilities to take care of that thing," he said.

Dale Shaylor journeyed to Florida in search of a life-saving liver transplant -- only to find the surgery has a price tag far out of the missionary pilot's reach. He was told that to get on a list to receive a new liver from a cadaver, he would have to make a deposit of nearly half a million dollars -- $425,000 to be exact.

"A transplant is not something that's covered as an emergency -- it's more of a luxury item," said Shaylor, 40, referring to what he's learned in the last month about his options. 

Shaylor's family members said there was no time to waste -- they don't know how long his health will hold out now that his liver has been irreversibly damaged by the hepatitis, which is endemic all over Latin America. 

"To have them tell us that transplants aren't considered an emergency, even though he's in end-stage liver failure, it's been a heartbreaker," said his brother, Douglas Shaylor of Deltona.

How can you help?

1. PRAY! PRAY! AND PRAY SOME MORE!

2. DONATE! DONATE! DONATE!

You can give ONLINE NOW (with Credit Card) at: https://www.transplants.org/DonationForm1.php

Be sure and click the box that says, "in honor of a patient" and then find Dale's name. (DALE SHAYLOR)

Or you can send Checks to:

National Foundation for Transplants

5350 Poplar Ave. Suite 430

Memphis TN 38119

Remember to write "In honor of Dale Shaylor" on the memo line of the check!

Thank you for praying, giving, or both!

http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/west-volusia/2011/01/15/man-discovers-transplant-patients-face-huge-costs.html

It's Only Because of Him

^"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor. 4:7-9)

I love these verses. I love the fact that God doesn't require that of our own energy that we generate some type of magnificent power or strength to carry us through difficult days. If that were the case, I may as well give up right now. I marvel how He chooses to use us for His glory, though we are merely weak earthen vessels. 


Only God can lead us through dark valleys in such a magnificent manner, that though we feel the pain, we feel the emotional drain, and we have no real substantial answers for the trials before us -- yet we can state with the apostle Paul that we are not distressed, we are not in despair, and that we stand assured that we are not forsaken and will not be destroyed. Why? Because we have such inner strength? Definitely not. It's only because of Him, only because the "excellency of the power" is of God and not of us. It's only because of Him. 

The Continuing Saga...

Dragging a box of Kleenex from room to room wasn't how I had envisioned our mini-vacation, but the special time with friends outweighed the congestion in my head. Coming down with a bad cold may not have been the way I would have planned it, but God gave us a great time reconnecting with Walt and Jane.

Likewise, the second opinion appointment wasn't what I had envisioned. Loving to read and write, I couldn't help but take note of the "foreshadowing" woven in the doctor's beginning words as he prepared us for an opinion different than the one previously given. In any other situation it may not have held a sinister tone, but if there ever were a 'good' diagnosis of Stage IV Pancreatic cancer, Matt had already been given that one. A different opinion or new diagnosis could not be good news -- but they gave us a different opinion anyway. Of course, we had driven five and a half hours for them to do just that. 

In a nutshell,  the second opinion was that this is not the slow-growing type, but a more aggressive type of pancreatic cancer. The difference in the interpretation of the pathology needs to be investigated. Further testing of the pathology and a CAT scan are in order. It definitely wasn't the second opinion we were looking for. Instead of more answers on how to treat the already rare diagnosis we had, we find God stretching us yet more and reminding us our hope is in Him and not in diagnoses or prognoses. We face many unknowns, but we have a great hope in our God who is a known, who has been faithful throughout the ages, and will continue to be faithful on our behalf.