Caught off Guard

When faced with the possibility of a worst-case scenario diagnosis, it has been the small things that have caught me off guard, bringing tears welling up in my eyes at unexpected moments....

We spent out 26th wedding anniversary in the hospital and managed to keep upbeat about it. Spending an entire day with my hubby -- even if confined to a hospital room -- was still a good thing. We laughed over my somewhat less than romantic anniversary gift to him of pajamas. He had requested them -- but they were bought and delivered to me for him! They were definitely a great improvement on the standard issue hospital gown!

We did a good job of making our anniversary dinner in the hospital sound much better than it should by reminding ourselves that we were having room service for this anniversary. We were making the most of less than ideal circumstances.

It was looking for an anniversary card in the hospital lobby gift shop that was my "caught off guard" moment.  Thankful that they even had anniversary cards in the gift shop I proceeded to open and read them. 

Picking up the first card, I read it, the wording making the presumption that we would be together for the next twenty years. Faced as I was at that moment with an uncertain diagnosis that could shorten those years substantially, reading those words brought tears to my eyes. 

Blinking back the tears, I picked up the next card. It was even more sentimental of the bright many years we had before us. More tears blurred my vision. Taking a deep breath, I removed my glasses and tried to discreetly wipe the tears from my eyes before picking up another card. 

Lord, there has to be some card here that I can give my hubby without bursting into tears! 

I finally did find a card that stated all Matt meant to me without bringing  up a questionable future. A card I could give as we lived in the moment, waiting for God to reveal His future plan for our lives. God must have pre-ordered that card just for me.