Worry & Concern

There's plenty to worry about right now. I could justify throwing a party and inviting numerous concerns and worries to the feast. It's in my nature to worry. I mean, doesn't worrying about things help? 


It's been by an active choice of my will that I've not been worrying. When my mind starts to go there, the Holy Spirit, as the sentry of my mind, leaps up, swords bared, reminding worry and concern that they are not welcome here. He reminds me to "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)


When I try to handle tomorrow's worries and concerns today, He reminds me that I don't have to bear tomorrows problems today because "it is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not, They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him." (Lamentations 3:22-24)


So I've been handing all my worries and concerns over to God and feeling His peace undergirding me and holding me up. Then today around noon I called to get Matt's insurance I.D. number to pass on to the Cancer Clinic. With the new year we'd had a change of insurance and the Cancer Clinic needed our new insurance information.


Finally talking my way through to the point where I figured they would give me the number, I was informed that though our insurance was effective as of 1/1/11, our account had not yet been "uploaded," and therefore there was not yet an I.D. number. Asking more questions, I realized that meant we aren't able to have any procedures or surgeries that required pre-approval until such a time as we are "uploaded." The "when" was vague.


I felt worry and concern pushing their heads to the forefront of my mind and their strong clingy tentacles wrapping around my heart. That would mean they wouldn't be able to even think about surgery until this was processed. How long would it take? Would it take a month like it did with our last insurance? How long was it safe to wait on surgery? And on and on....


"Excuse me," I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit. "Why are you allowing worry and concern to take up residence? This is not their home."


"You're right," I conceded as I let them melt off and away from me. If God was big enough to trust with the health and life of my husband, if God was big enough to trust with our future, was He not also big enough to be able to trust Him to handle an insurance company? It sounded quite petty when put that way.


I took a deep breath. I explained the situation to the woman on the other end of the phone, letting her know I realized she wasn't in control of the timing of the insurance, but wanting to know if there was a way to remedy this.


She was understanding. She wanted to help. She said she would push it through as a rush job, but wanted me to realize it would still take 48 hours. It would still most likely take two days. 


It sounded like an eternity, but I reminded myself that this was God's department and not mine. She took my phone number. I thanked her for her help and for putting the rush job on it. Hanging up, I went back to my work.


As I was preparing to close the office for the day, the phone rang. Answering it, I was greeted by the Excellus agent. She apologized that she didn't have our temporary insurance cards, but sounded quite pleased to tell me she had our insurance I.D. numbers. I felt humbled by God's grace in speeding the process, in turning a 48-hour rush job into a 3-hour rush job. I didn't necessarily need a temporary card. What I needed was the numbers and those she was able to give me. I thanked her. I thanked God.


I could have spent the day allowing worry and concern to destroy my peace, raise my blood pressure, and wreck havoc with my stomach. I could have "enjoyed" their company. I am so thankful that our God is faithful to bring His Word to our minds, to remind us to trust Him, to encourage us, direct us, and draw us close to Himself. We serve an awesome God.