Rosie Rambles On

A Move...

2011-05-14T08:13:00.006-04:00

Due to some capability issues, Rosie Rambles On has a new home!

I have moved to RosieRamblesOn.WordPress.com.

I'd love to have you follow me there!

Please click HERE to follow the link to my new home!

No More Chemo

2011-05-11T17:02:00.000-04:00

Habakkuk 3:17-8 (KJV)

¹⁷Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:

¹⁸Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The cancerous tumors have grown. No more chemotherapy. The other chemotherapy options open to us hold less hope than the one Matt was receiving. We will continue with some of the homeopathic protocols we have been using, switching a few of them.

Leaving the doctor's office, the Lord brought Philippians 4:4 to mind: "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice."

It was not the verse I was expecting. Wasn't it a bit much to suggest I start rejoicing right then? My heart cried, "God, I love and trust You, but what is there to rejoice in? The hopeful treatment failing? Tumors having grown?"

God so graciously reminded me, "No, not in your circumstances, but in Me."

Our circumstances may not warrant anything to rejoice in, but as Habakkuk so eloquently stated it, our circumstances are not what we are to rejoice in! Though our circumstances may not be something that calls for rejoicing, yet we can still rejoice IN THE LORD! We CHOOSE to rejoice in the Lord.

"You Are My God" by Nicol Sponberg

2011-05-07T06:30:00.004-04:00

The daughter of a friend who is in critical condition shared this song. Be blessed by it!

What Will Next Week Bring?

2011-05-06T06:00:00.007-04:00

A strange mixture of feelings dominate my heart this week.

Next Monday's CT scan followed by a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to hear the results is strangely anticipated just to know ... while at the same time I could wait forever to hear the results. I could continue on in ignorant bliss.

A definitely strange and contradictory set of feelings.

It's another milestone. Has the chemo kept the tumors at bay or shrunk them? Has God chosen to do a miracle in Matt's body and life by removing the tumors? Or is God asking us to continue to glorify Him through this difficult journey?

Whether we find next Wednesday to be a day of rejoicing, or a day of facing hard news, we know that God will continue to provide the strength, grace and encouragement that we need. We know it and we claim it. We cling to Him. Please keep us in your prayers.

In the Presence of Mine Enemies

2011-05-05T20:04:00.007-04:00

Missionaries Martin and Gracia Burnham had their plans.

They were enjoying an anniversary getaway.

God had other plans.

Martin and Gracia were kidnapped by the Abu Sayyaf terrorist group and lived a dangerous year on the run with their captors.

Gracia's book is an open, from the heart account of the highs and lows of surviving a year of terror.

Listen to Gracia's story on the video clip below.

In the Presence of Mine Enemies can be purchased from Gracia's website at:
www.graciaburnham.org

Our Witchdoctors Are Too Weak

2011-05-03T07:07:00.002-04:00

This is a great interview promoting, not only Davey & Marie Jank's new book Our Witchdoctors Are Too Weak, but also promoting tribal missions. I've known Davey since childhood, and Marie for many years now. They are normal people who God has used in not-so-normal situations to reach an indigenous group of people with God's message of salvation.

The Challenges of Life

2011-05-01T22:05:00.000-04:00

Life is full of challenges. Cancer is not the only one. Back home on Thursday after three nights in the hospital and 6 units of blood, Matt typed up notes for his Sunday sermon only to have his computer contract a virus on Friday. With the programs and files frozen on the computer, Matt lost all his notes.

Saturday morning Jamie reformatted the hard drive. Then it was my job to re-load Matt's LOGOS Bible program, Microsoft Office Suite -- and of course to put on an up-to-date virus protection! Mission completed, Matt then had the job of recreating the notes for his Sunday sermon. Sunday's sermon went well. :-)

Tomorrow we head back up to Rochester for a doctor's appointment -- and tentatively for round four of chemo. Thanks for praying!

Back to Normal

2011-04-29T07:36:00.000-04:00

Matt is home. I think that says it all. :-) He was moved from the ICU to a regular room on Wednesday, and then Thursday was released to go home. Jamie picked him up and took him home as I was at work.

Arriving home after work, it was SO good to see Matt sitting in the chair upright, and yes, not in a hospital gown! His laptop was on his lap and he was working on a sermon for Sunday. Life looked so normal again. Thank you for praying.

Texting...

2011-04-28T06:00:00.010-04:00

His blood counts were obviously dropping, but Matt wasn't ready to admit it. He wanted to preach on Easter Sunday. Still, the symptoms were hard to hide. As he lay exhausted on the couch we discussed what I saw as reality versus his desire. I told him outright that I wasn't sure if I should be listening to him or not, but that if his blood pressure didn't drop any further, I would try to honor his wish.

With our conversation over, I stood up and headed to the kitchen, texting as I went.

"Who are you texting?" Matt asked in a strangely concerned and accusatory manner.

"Chuck," I replied with a straight face, sure that I knew what he was thinking.

The response on his face confirmed my suspicions causing me to burst into laughter before correcting my statement.

"I wasn't texting Chuck. I was texting Jamie."

Chuck is our EMT friend and you could just see Matt's brain whirring, figuring I was texting for backup!

Mocha, the Competition

2011-04-27T06:00:00.016-04:00

Matt has developed a dislike of having his blood checked, having an unfortunately realistic fear that he'll end up in the hospital for more days than he cares for. We were at the stage of his trying to convince me to hold off on calling the doctor, knowing the doctor would most likely send him to the ER.

On this particular day we were relaxing on the couch. Mocha, my Jack Russell Terrier, was stretched out between us and Matt was giving her lots of attention. I leaned in on Matt.

"How come Mocha's getting all the attention and not me?" I asked with a mischievous smile.

"Mocha's not trying to send me to the hospital," came Matt's quick teasing response.

"Mocha's not trying to save your life!" I responded just as quickly.

I was rewarded with attention.

Home Tomorrow?

2011-04-26T22:14:00.001-04:00

Another long day. I spent the first half at work and the second half at the hospital. The endoscopy went fine. No current bleeding was revealed. Matt's blood counts are creeping up. They're hoping one more unit of blood, for a total of 6 units, will bring it to the 'at least acceptable' range. If it gets there and stays there, Matt could come home tomorrow (Wednesday)! That would be SO nice! :-)

An Easter to Remember

2011-04-26T07:08:00.000-04:00

This was an Easter to remember. My folks visited Thursday through Saturday, joining us for the Good Friday service at our church. As always, we had a great time with them. By the time they left on Saturday, Matt had admitted to experiencing the signs of a low blood count ... but the preacher in him wanted to get through Sunday first, to be able to preach for the Easter service! I told him I wasn't sure if I really should be listening to him, but if his blood pressure didn't drop too low, I would try to honor his wish.

My check list for Saturday was contradictory at the least: Laundry. Check. Change sheets on the guest bed for missionary guests (Saturday night - Monday morning). Check. Out for coffee with my daughter-in-law. Check. Preparations for Easter brunch at church. Check. Preparations for Easter dinner at our house for sixteen people. Check. Add clothes to the always partially ready "emergency" suitcase. Check.

What? Yes, you got that right. Preparing for a crowd while preparing to take off at a moment's notice. Contradictory? Yes. Abnormal? Probably not, at least not for us. It's our life right now. You make plans and continue on with life, ready at a moment's notice for it all to change.

By Monday he was in the ER with the lowest blood count I've seen him with yet. He shouldn't have been standing the day before. The prayers of the saints had to have been holding Matt upright and able to preach on Sunday.

After eight hours at work following his progress through the ER by phone, and then four hours at the hospital, I was exhausted by the time I arrived home last night and ready for a good night's sleep. Matt was settled in the ICU when I left, receiving a life-giving blood transfusion. He was stable and in good hands.

What will today bring? I'm not sure. I do know God gave me a refreshing night's sleep, though I don't even know yet if I'm headed to work first or the hospital. God knows and that's enough for me. Thanks for your continued prayers.

Round Two of Chemo

2011-04-11T07:00:00.000-04:00

We entered the next round of chemotherapy a little gun-shy. Would it put Matt back in the hospital for another five days? Due to the fact that Matt's blood counts had started dropping before the first chemo treatment, we weren't necessarily placing the blame for the dramatic drop in his blood counts on the chemo itself. Of course, the chemo probably accentuated the problem. So we entered the next round of chemotherapy, pretty much considering it to be the test week.

Thankfully, the second round of chemo was much less dramatic than the first. After the three days of chemo, Matt wasn't suddenly experiencing low blood count symptoms. We counted that a blessing. A few more days passed and I found myself practically grinning when we could count this hurdle as clearly passed over. It did not lead up to a five day hospitalization. The side effects were minimal -- especially when you compare them to the the long list of horrendous things you need to watch for!

Two treatments down. Two to go. Then a CT Scan to determine if the chemotherapy has shrunk the tumors or held them at bay (both good outcomes!) -- or if the tumors continue to grow despite the chemo.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Home Again!

2011-03-31T07:30:00.003-04:00

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
And He delights in his way."
(Psalm 37:23 NKJV)

Pulling up to the driveway yesterday afternoon after work, it was so good to see Matt standing outside with his brothers checking out the used boat and motor his brother had just purchased. Being a typical male, his brother was sure this would cheer Matt up. He was probably right. For me, seeing Matt upright and at home was enough to bring cheer to my heart.

Do we have answers? Not really. We know where the problem isn't -- but we don't know what actually caused the drop in Matt's blood counts. For now, he's stable and back home with us. We'll count our blessings.

On Friday more blood work will be completed in an attempt to determine if possibly the problem is that Matt is not making enough red blood cells. Monday we head back up to Rochester to see the oncologist for a re-evaluation after this most recent hospitalization. It's still unclear whether his counts will permit him to have the second round of chemo previously scheduled for that day.

Our days may feel uncertain, and rightly so. We never know what the next day or week will bring. One thing that is unchangeable is our God to whom we cling. He is in control. He has ordered the steps that we are walking in. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in the LORD with all our heart -- and not to lean on our own understanding. We don't have to understand. We don't have to know what tomorrow may bring. We just need to keep trusting in our most trustworthy Heavenly Father.

Fighting Fear with Joy!

2011-03-30T07:12:00.000-04:00

This young Canadian living in Japan during these horrific days explains why she's back at the school working. A quote in her blog from "Suheir Hammad: Poems of war, peace, women, power" reads as follows:

"She tells stories about the supposedly powerless women who fight in their own way; beating their fear by going on with normal life and finding something to give them joy. Doing simple things like keeping a music school open no matter how dangerous the situation is, that's how these women kept their souls alive during horrible times."

http://hezcultureshock.blogspot.com/2011/03/fighting-fear-with-joy.html

Good News Despite the Lack of Answers!

2011-03-29T22:26:00.000-04:00

A quick update. Thanks for praying! Matt's white blood cells stayed up. He had the colonoscopy early this afternoon, and we finally saw the doctor about 7:30 tonight. The lower GI tract is clear. There was nothing to explain the low blood counts. The doctor explained the next step clearly. It made total sense to me for about a minute, but my brain cells aren't functioning up to par and when I went back over it in my mind there was a definite loss of understanding. There is something about Matt being hospitalized that leaves me exhausted! My brain doesn't function so well when it's exhausted! But, like many things in life, I don't need to understand them all. What I remember is enough for now. No iron supplements through Friday. More tests on Friday to determine if the problem is that he's not making enough red blood cells. The good news is his blood counts stayed up after last night's blood transfusion. The great news is that he comes home tomorrow. :-)

Our Newest Challenge

2011-03-28T21:11:00.004-04:00

Three days, seven units of blood, and an endoscopy later, we still have no definite answers. We do know Matt's upper GI tract is clear. Tomorrow he is slated for a colonoscopy to determine if the problem lies in the lower GI tract -- as long as his white blood count is high enough. Presently it is too low.

I left him tonight with this gallon container of laxative sitting on the table beside him in preparation for tomorrow's colonoscopy. That would look daunting to me just to drink if it were just water -- and he was to get as much down as possible before midnight!

Later they will be giving yet another blood transfusion in an attempt to boost his white blood cell count high enough to even be able to have the colonoscopy.

So there's our newest challenge. Matt is preparing for a test that will have to be canceled if they can't get his white blood cell count high enough. Please pray!

Buy a Great Book -- Proceeds go to Dale Shaylor's Liver Transplant!

2011-03-28T18:19:00.001-04:00

Earlier, I have written about Dale Shaylor, who used to fly for us in Venezuela. He is in desperate need of a liver transplant, but cannot get on the registry until he raises more funds. Mike Dawson, also a missionary in Venezuela, has written two books, "Growing up Yanomamö" and "I Can See the Shore." He will donate the profit from all book sales sold through their website for the next two months towards Dale's transplant. His books are excellent. If you are interested in purchasing any, go to http://www.mpaviation.org/store-2/.

Mission Padamo Aviation

www.mpaviation.org

Last week, we were very disappointed to get the word that our fuel barge had sunk losing all materials and fuel on board. Our biggest worry was the fuel, which up here, is almost impossible to get as it is, then to lose it before we got it up here, was just very frustrating.

Another Turn In the Road

2011-03-26T00:36:00.001-04:00

The exhausted worn-out feeling was joined by a new symptom, that of being lightheaded. Given the fact that Matt's blood counts had been lower than expected this past Monday, we had been instructed to call if any signs of anemia appeared. Whether this was anemia or chemo related symptoms was uncertain, so blood tests were ordered. With the results showing that his blood count had dropped another 6 points since Monday, he was soon in the ER, and then admitted to the Auburn hospital.

That's where I left him late this evening. He was hooked up to monitors, special wraps on his leg kept the blood circulating, and they were to arrive shortly to begin a blood transfusion. Despite all the wires, he was still my smiling cheerful hubby.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

One Down...

2011-03-23T20:21:00.000-04:00

The first treatment of chemo is over. One down, three more treatments to go at two week intervals before the next CT scan. I'm not sure who was more pleased after the nurse came by to disconnect the needle, pouch and tubing -- Matt or Mocha. Mocha is my Jack Russell Terrier who routinely rejects me for Matt!

Knowing Matt's phobia for needles, I know he is thrilled to KNOW the needle is no longer in his chest -- especially one that felt like it was being stabbed right into his heart! At least that's how he described it. Having watched the nurse take the needle, and yes, stab it into the medi-port which was surgically placed under Matt's skin above the heart, well, I couldn't exactly argue the statement!

But remember Mocha -- my Jack Russell Terrier who routinely rejects me for Matt -- well she is definitely pleased to no longer having Matt cautiously keeping her away from all the hoses and connections. Presently Matt is stretched out on the couch watching old reruns with Mocha happily snuggled up to him. They look quite content.

Considering the toxicity of the treatment, Matt is feeling remarkably well after this first treatment. He's experienced only minor side effects thus far -- though admittedly his energy and strength is a bit zapped. Yes, that explains the stretched out on the couch watching old reruns with Mocha. Mostly right now we're just thankful for how well he is feeling. What a blessing.

Chemo 101

2011-03-21T21:20:00.001-04:00

Chemotherapy. The dreaded word. The dreaded treatment. A word synonymous with horrific side affects and loss of hair -- though hair loss obviously isn't Matt's greatest concern! But still, a treatment that states without a doubt that you have cancer.

Matt began the dreaded treatment today. Anti-nausea meds were followed by a two hour drip of drugs one and two combined. Later, instruction was given as a pouch/pump was attached to slowly administer drug number three over the next two days. Five hours later we were finally heading home.

Thus far it has been wonderfully anti-climatic. I know by tomorrow night he might be experiencing side affects. I know there are accumulative effects to consider. But for today it's been such a relief and blessing to see none of the possible initial side affects or reactions pushing their ugly heads to the surface.

One chemo treatment at at time. One day at a time. God's grace is sufficient.

A First Hand Account of the Tragedy in Japan

2011-03-14T06:00:00.003-04:00

We are definitely not an island unto ourselves. We're a global world. Our hearts ache for tragedies that occur outside our borders. The link below will take you to a blog post giving a first hand account of the day of the earthquake. It is written by the sister of a missionary kid who rooms with my parents while attending nursing school.

http://hezcultureshock.blogspot.com/2011/03/jishin-my-story.html

Laura Story - Blessings

2011-03-13T07:37:00.002-04:00

Earlier, I shared Laura's story behind her new song Blessings.
Click on the play button below to be blessed by the song itself.

Praying for a Miracle

2011-03-11T21:52:00.000-05:00

After much prayer and discussion, Matt has made the choice to take chemo. The tentative plan is that next week Matt will go in for an outpatient surgery to have a medi-port put in. The Monday following that he will begin chemo. We are waiting for the outpatient surgery to be set up.

We appreciate your prayers as we accept the prognosis given us as a probable reality, while recognizing that a prognosis is not synonymous with God's will. We are ready to accept whatever outcome God has for us in this, but until God makes it clear otherwise, we ask that you continue to pray with us for a miracle.

Blessings Through Raindrops & Tears

2011-03-11T06:11:00.009-05:00

Click on the video above to hear Laura Story explain
the background behind her new song Blessings.
She speaks of learning how blessings don't always come through prosperity,
but often through raindrops and tears.
It is such an encouragement and testimony!

Hope in the Lord

2011-03-10T19:50:00.002-05:00

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

The cancer has grown. There was an urgency in the air as treatment options were presented, attesting to the doctor's concern. With the diagnosis moving from an indolent, slow-growing cancer back to an aggressively-growing one, that should be expected. It seemed a bit surreal to be discussing quality of life over quantity of life. Had it really come to this? -- It had.

The prognosis is bleak. If Matt does nothing, the average life expectancy is 2-4 months. If he takes chemo, you get to add on another 2-3 months of life. That's not a prognosis that inspires, brings hope, or strengthens you in your inner being.

Thankfully God offers a different hope. Only God can offer hope in a hopeless situation. Not hope in a prognosis, but hope in HIM. As we keep our hope in the Lord, He has promised to renew our strength. If we hope in the Lord, He has promised that we will soar on wings like eagles, that we will be able to run and not grow weary, and that we will be able to walk and not be faint. Right now I could settle for just being able to walk and not be faint, but we'll claim the promise that we will also be able to soar on wings like the eagle!

My Friend in Need

2011-03-09T07:00:00.005-05:00

Can you help me to help a friend in need of a new liver?

Dale Shaylor is a missionary kid turned missionary.
As a missionary pilot he flew us to our remote jungle home when we were missionaries in Venezuela with New Tribes Mission.
He is currently in need of a life-saving liver transplant.

Transplants weren't in the picture when the same disease killed Dale Shaylor's grandfather, also a missionary in Venezuela, at age 46 in the 1960s. Shaylor discovered he had the chronic condition of Hepatitis B when he was in his teens, as the family was being tested to receive hepatitis vaccines.

He had one bout with the disease four years after that diagnosis, but didn't really get seriously ill until last Thanksgiving Day. And, after chronic hepatitis symptoms left him in a coma from the toxins his body couldn't flush, Dale Shaylor knew he would have to go back to the United States for a transplant."They don't have the medical facilities to take care of that thing," he said.

Dale Shaylor journeyed to Florida in search of a life-saving liver transplant -- only to find the surgery has a price tag far out of the missionary pilot's reach. He was told that to get on a list to receive a new liver from a cadaver, he would have to make a deposit of nearly half a million dollars -- $425,000 to be exact.

"A transplant is not something that's covered as an emergency -- it's more of a luxury item," said Shaylor, 40, referring to what he's learned in the last month about his options.

Shaylor's family members said there was no time to waste -- they don't know how long his health will hold out now that his liver has been irreversibly damaged by the hepatitis, which is endemic all over Latin America.

"To have them tell us that transplants aren't considered an emergency, even though he's in end-stage liver failure, it's been a heartbreaker," said his brother, Douglas Shaylor of Deltona.

How can you help?

1. PRAY! PRAY! AND PRAY SOME MORE!

2. DONATE! DONATE! DONATE!

You can give ONLINE NOW (with Credit Card) at: https://www.transplants.org/DonationForm1.php

Be sure and click the box that says, "in honor of a patient" and then find Dale's name. (DALE SHAYLOR)

Or you can send Checks to:

National Foundation for Transplants

5350 Poplar Ave. Suite 430

Memphis TN 38119

Remember to write "In honor of Dale Shaylor" on the memo line of the check!

Thank you for praying, giving, or both!

http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/west-volusia/2011/01/15/man-discovers-transplant-patients-face-huge-costs.html

It's Only Because of Him

2011-03-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

^"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor. 4:7-9)

I love these verses. I love the fact that God doesn't require that of our own energy that we generate some type of magnificent power or strength to carry us through difficult days. If that were the case, I may as well give up right now. I marvel how He chooses to use us for His glory, though we are merely weak earthen vessels.

Only God can lead us through dark valleys in such a magnificent manner, that though we feel the pain, we feel the emotional drain, and we have no real substantial answers for the trials before us -- yet we can state with the apostle Paul that we are not distressed, we are not in despair, and that we stand assured that we are not forsaken and will not be destroyed. Why? Because we have such inner strength? Definitely not. It's only because of Him, only because the "excellency of the power" is of God and not of us. It's only because of Him.

The Continuing Saga...

2011-03-01T21:10:00.002-05:00

Dragging a box of Kleenex from room to room wasn't how I had envisioned our mini-vacation, but the special time with friends outweighed the congestion in my head. Coming down with a bad cold may not have been the way I would have planned it, but God gave us a great time reconnecting with Walt and Jane.

Likewise, the second opinion appointment wasn't what I had envisioned. Loving to read and write, I couldn't help but take note of the "foreshadowing" woven in the doctor's beginning words as he prepared us for an opinion different than the one previously given. In any other situation it may not have held a sinister tone, but if there ever were a 'good' diagnosis of Stage IV Pancreatic cancer, Matt had already been given that one. A different opinion or new diagnosis could not be good news -- but they gave us a different opinion anyway. Of course, we had driven five and a half hours for them to do just that.

In a nutshell, the second opinion was that this is not the slow-growing type, but a more aggressive type of pancreatic cancer. The difference in the interpretation of the pathology needs to be investigated. Further testing of the pathology and a CAT scan are in order. It definitely wasn't the second opinion we were looking for. Instead of more answers on how to treat the already rare diagnosis we had, we find God stretching us yet more and reminding us our hope is in Him and not in diagnoses or prognoses. We face many unknowns, but we have a great hope in our God who is a known, who has been faithful throughout the ages, and will continue to be faithful on our behalf.

A Second Opinion

2011-02-22T21:37:00.002-05:00

Matt and I are getting away for the weekend! We're looking forward to getting away for a few days that don't involve Matt lying pale and hooked up to wires in a hospital bed -- and my spending 14 hour days at his side, to head to my temporary home to sleep and back again the next day. Spending the weekend with former co-workers, who are also special friends, sounds SO much better!

Of course, this is a mini-vacation with a purpose. On Monday, February 28th we have an appointment at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, MA. At the recommendation of Matt's oncologist, we will be meeting with three doctors to gain a second opinion on Matt's case.

Medical combined with a mini-vacation? I can handle that. :-)

A Better Case Scenario

2011-02-14T22:04:00.001-05:00

The road we've been traveling has been varied. There was the impossible to miss sinkhole spanning the width of the road at the preliminary diagnosis of liver cancer, possibly originating in the pancreas. We were told Matt had 2 months to a year to live. It was a worst case scenario.

Lifted from the cavernous hole by our loving Savior, we continued our journey. The road turned into an oasis of hope when the prognosis changed to a rare slow-growing type of pancreatic cancer. Though it was Stage IV and had already metastasized to the liver, surgery offered the hope of a cure. It was a best case scenario.

The day of the surgery came, revealing that the cancer was more extensive than the scans had shown. The surgery was not a possibility. Was this a pothole ... or a sinkhole? We didn't know for sure. We continued on hoping for the best, not ready to accept another worst case scenario before it could be spelled out for us. It was the hopeful, yet unknown scenario.

Today we had an appointment with the oncologist to determine what we are really facing and what the current prognosis is. The doctor explained that because this is a slow-growing cancer, the prognosis is 3-5 years without surgery -- possibly even longer. Options included radiation & chemotherapy. However, due to Matt's current good health and the slow-growing nature of this particular cancer, the doctor's recommendation is to wait, have a three-month scan in March to determine how slow slow-growing is -- and make decisions from there. He said that though a second opinion is not essential, he would recommend it. We will be setting up a second-opinion appointment within a few weeks time at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. It's not a worst case scenario nor a best case scenario -- but it's definitely a better case scenario.

Home Again!

2011-01-30T18:01:00.000-05:00

We're pleased to say we arrived home last night. It's GREAT to be home. We have a follow-up appointment on Thursday with the surgeon. We'll be calling the oncologist on Monday to set up an appointment with him.

We were able to speak with one of our oncologist's colleagues Saturday morning, as our oncologist was out of town. He is definitely in the loop. What we're up against is the rarity of this cancer. Research is being done to determine the best course of action, but it's just going to take time for even the experts to sort this all out. This type of pancreatic cancer only shows up in 1-2% of pancreatic cancers, is usually found in young women, and only 10-15% of this type ever metastasize to the liver. This makes Matt's case a rarity in an already rare type of pancreatic cancer. Surgery to remove the primary tumor and metastasis is the recommended course of action with good prognosis. The presumption had been that the surgery would be a success, therefore now further research is necessary. Pray for wisdom for the doctors as they seek the best course of action.

We are so thankful for God's continuing grace and peace in the midst of great unknowns.

Yet I Will Rejoice in the Lord

2011-01-28T23:11:00.005-05:00

"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation." (Habakkuk 3:17-18)

Each day we have waited to write, hoping the next day would bring a visit from the oncologist, hoping the next day would bring answers -- but they have been slow in coming.It's been a time of waiting, a time to remind ourselves anew that we are waiting on God's timing and not on the timing of the oncologist. It's been a time to see God bring a calm and peace despite the lack of answers, a peace that goes contrary to our human nature.

Only God knows for sure when we'll get to see the oncologist, but we're told now that he'll be up to see us tomorrow. We heard him tell this to one of the surgeons who called to check into it for us. Of course, we've been told this before. But maybe, just maybe, we'll have news tomorrow night? That would be nice. If not, we'll re-write Habakkuk 3:17-18 to say, "Although the oncologist doesn't come by and visit ... yet I will rejoice in the Lord!" :-)

God's Ways Are Not Our Ways

2011-01-25T16:43:00.001-05:00

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

- Isaiah 55:8-9

This was to be the "victory message," the message letting you know the operation was a success, that they were able to remove the cancer riddled organs from Matt's body, the message offering yet more hope. Yet, as the verses above read, God's ways are not our ways. Upon opening Matt up they found the tumor by the portal vein had invaded further than expected, making the proposed operation impossible. They closed him back up. We are not yet certain what this means. We don't have a new prognosis. We have yet to speak to the oncologist.

Is this what we had hoped for? Obviously not. Is God still in control? Most definitely. Isaiah 55:9 tell us that as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are GOD'S ways higher than our ways, and GOD'S thoughts higher than our thoughts. We claim the truth, even if we have to claim it through the tears of our human frailty. God has a greater purpose to accomplish through what appears to be a major setback to our human minds and hearts. We cling to Him and to His promises by faith. At the same time we covet your prayers as we continue down this difficult journey with God.

The Plan

2011-01-13T21:32:00.002-05:00

We've reminded ourselves as we have waited that we are really waiting on God -- and not for a response from a doctor's office. Our waiting has reached the point of having a plan.

We met with the surgeon this past Monday. The surgeon presented a two surgery approach. Surgery number one will take place Tuesday, January 25. During this surgery, the more pressing need of the enlarged spleen and the pancreas (which is practically one big tumor) will be removed -- and the remaining parts will be "reconnected" as needed. To ensure the tumors in the liver do not continue growing, they will either use radio waves or 'burn' the tumors to disrupt them. The second surgery will take place roughly three months later when Matt has healed sufficiently. At that time they will need to remove two-thirds to three-quarters of the liver.

We plan to enjoy the time between now and January 25, realizing at that time we'll be facing the challenges of surgery, of the recovery time, and of Matt becoming an instant insulin-dependent diabetic when the pancreas is removed. We've been told to expect the surgery to take roughly 6 hours, for Matt to be in ICU for 12 to 24 hours following surgery, and for a total hospital stay of probably 10 days -- barring complications.

We've a long road ahead, but we know we are not alone. God continues to be faithful, encouraging us when needed, challenging us when needed, and sometimes just wrapping us in His loving arms and comforting us. He has also blessed us through so many of our extended family of God, through their prayers, words of encouragement and expressions of love. We, as believers, are most blessed to have such a wonderful extended family.

Next Step: Meeting with the Surgical Team

2011-01-07T19:15:00.004-05:00

I was on the phone several times with the doctors' offices today. We will be heading up to Rochester this Monday, January 10th for a meeting with the surgical team. Discussing the tentative surgical plans with the oncologist could leave one wondering what will be left in Matt's abdomen following surgery. For the weight conscious among us, this has to be some weight-loss of an operation!

We are told that the tumor in the pancreas is quite large and the plan is to remove the entire pancreas. Being that the pancreas is what controls the blood sugar levels, removing the pancreas will automatically make Matt an insulin-dependent diabetic, but that is something we can live with. The spleen needs removing as well as the 3 tumors on the liver which, thankfully, are all confined to one lobe. The portal vein leaving the liver is affected and will need reconstructing. The oncologist wasn't clear as to whether this would take place in one surgery or if Matt will be facing multiple surgeries. I'm sure this, along with other issues, will be clarified at Monday's appointment.

Worry & Concern

2011-01-04T19:44:00.001-05:00

There's plenty to worry about right now. I could justify throwing a party and inviting numerous concerns and worries to the feast. It's in my nature to worry. I mean, doesn't worrying about things help?

It's been by an active choice of my will that I've not been worrying. When my mind starts to go there, the Holy Spirit, as the sentry of my mind, leaps up, swords bared, reminding worry and concern that they are not welcome here. He reminds me to "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

When I try to handle tomorrow's worries and concerns today, He reminds me that I don't have to bear tomorrows problems today because "it is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not, They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him." (Lamentations 3:22-24)

So I've been handing all my worries and concerns over to God and feeling His peace undergirding me and holding me up. Then today around noon I called to get Matt's insurance I.D. number to pass on to the Cancer Clinic. With the new year we'd had a change of insurance and the Cancer Clinic needed our new insurance information.

Finally talking my way through to the point where I figured they would give me the number, I was informed that though our insurance was effective as of 1/1/11, our account had not yet been "uploaded," and therefore there was not yet an I.D. number. Asking more questions, I realized that meant we aren't able to have any procedures or surgeries that required pre-approval until such a time as we are "uploaded." The "when" was vague.

I felt worry and concern pushing their heads to the forefront of my mind and their strong clingy tentacles wrapping around my heart. That would mean they wouldn't be able to even think about surgery until this was processed. How long would it take? Would it take a month like it did with our last insurance? How long was it safe to wait on surgery? And on and on....

"Excuse me," I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit. "Why are you allowing worry and concern to take up residence? This is not their home."

"You're right," I conceded as I let them melt off and away from me. If God was big enough to trust with the health and life of my husband, if God was big enough to trust with our future, was He not also big enough to be able to trust Him to handle an insurance company? It sounded quite petty when put that way.

I took a deep breath. I explained the situation to the woman on the other end of the phone, letting her know I realized she wasn't in control of the timing of the insurance, but wanting to know if there was a way to remedy this.

She was understanding. She wanted to help. She said she would push it through as a rush job, but wanted me to realize it would still take 48 hours. It would still most likely take two days.

It sounded like an eternity, but I reminded myself that this was God's department and not mine. She took my phone number. I thanked her for her help and for putting the rush job on it. Hanging up, I went back to my work.

As I was preparing to close the office for the day, the phone rang. Answering it, I was greeted by the Excellus agent. She apologized that she didn't have our temporary insurance cards, but sounded quite pleased to tell me she had our insurance I.D. numbers. I felt humbled by God's grace in speeding the process, in turning a 48-hour rush job into a 3-hour rush job. I didn't necessarily need a temporary card. What I needed was the numbers and those she was able to give me. I thanked her. I thanked God.

I could have spent the day allowing worry and concern to destroy my peace, raise my blood pressure, and wreck havoc with my stomach. I could have "enjoyed" their company. I am so thankful that our God is faithful to bring His Word to our minds, to remind us to trust Him, to encourage us, direct us, and draw us close to Himself. We serve an awesome God.

Tears of Hope

2011-01-03T23:16:00.002-05:00

We had the appointment with the oncologist today. The final diagnosis wasn't a surprise. Every test, every conversation, had been paving the way to the diagnosis of Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer that had metastasized to the liver. It was not a surprise. It was confirmation.

What was a surprise was the doctor telling us that there are three types of pancreatic cancer when I had only read of two. He explained that Matt had a very rare type of pancreatic cancer. He emphasized this several times -- while I wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. His tone seemed to indicate it could be a good thing.

He went on to explain that since it was this very rare type of pancreatic cancer, surgery could be an option. He will be presenting the case to the surgeons in the next few days and then getting back with us by Friday. The proposed plan, should the surgeons concur, would be to remove a good portion of the pancreas, the tumors from the liver, the swollen spleen, and reconstruct the portal vein -- giving at least the hope of a cure. I felt tears welling up in my eyes at his words, tears of hope.

We don't know what Friday will bring. Maybe the surgery will be a go. Maybe the surgeons will say it is not possible after viewing the CAT scan and MRI. What we do know is that God will be there right with us whatever the outcome. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Caught off Guard

2010-12-30T07:31:00.001-05:00

When faced with the possibility of a worst-case scenario diagnosis, it has been the small things that have caught me off guard, bringing tears welling up in my eyes at unexpected moments....

We spent out 26th wedding anniversary in the hospital and managed to keep upbeat about it. Spending an entire day with my hubby -- even if confined to a hospital room -- was still a good thing. We laughed over my somewhat less than romantic anniversary gift to him of pajamas. He had requested them -- but they were bought and delivered to me for him! They were definitely a great improvement on the standard issue hospital gown!

We did a good job of making our anniversary dinner in the hospital sound much better than it should by reminding ourselves that we were having room service for this anniversary. We were making the most of less than ideal circumstances.

It was looking for an anniversary card in the hospital lobby gift shop that was my "caught off guard" moment. Thankful that they even had anniversary cards in the gift shop I proceeded to open and read them.

Picking up the first card, I read it, the wording making the presumption that we would be together for the next twenty years. Faced as I was at that moment with an uncertain diagnosis that could shorten those years substantially, reading those words brought tears to my eyes.

Blinking back the tears, I picked up the next card. It was even more sentimental of the bright many years we had before us. More tears blurred my vision. Taking a deep breath, I removed my glasses and tried to discreetly wipe the tears from my eyes before picking up another card.

Lord, there has to be some card here that I can give my hubby without bursting into tears!

I finally did find a card that stated all Matt meant to me without bringing up a questionable future. A card I could give as we lived in the moment, waiting for God to reveal His future plan for our lives. God must have pre-ordered that card just for me.

A Special Place in Time

2010-12-28T06:43:00.000-05:00

A dear friend of mine had been going through some hard times. I cried for her, I hugged her, and I searched for the right words of encouragement to write to her. God gave me the words.

This morning this dear friend sent me a big hug in the form of a note -- and a copy of those words God had laid on my heart to write to her! I am going to share them with you, trusting that God will be able to use them to encourage you as well with the fact that God has a special plan for each of our lives.

"My heart goes out to you for all that's on your plate right now. I keep reminding myself when I want to just wrap you in my arms and take you out of the situation, that God loves you and trusts you with all He's put on your plate -- AND that He's promised to be your all in all through these hard things! He's growing you to be more like Him. He's using your testimony through these hard times to strengthen others! So, feel hugged and loved ... just not removed from that special place in time where God has you. :-)"

When Our World Is Turned Upside-down

2010-12-23T07:34:00.004-05:00

It's been a long week for our family. A week ago today my husband had a doctor's appointment I had arranged due to the fact that he was just plain worn out all the time, getting weaker, starting to get short of breath on exertion, and a few other symptoms. Something was definitely wrong.

To make a long story short, he was in ER by that evening in need of a blood transfusion. After an endoscopy, blood work and a CAT scan at our local hospital, that Friday he was transferred to Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester, NY. By then we knew he had veins that had engorged by an enlarged spleen, but no definite reason as to why the spleen was enlarged. We were also told there were two lesions on his liver.

At Strong Memorial more blood work, an ultrasound, MRI and liver biopsy revealed that Matt has liver cancer. The preliminary pathology report from the biopsy re-confirmed the initial diagnosis of cancer. We are waiting on further tests on the sample that take several days to complete to determine if the cancer originated in the pancreas and metastasized to the liver -- or if it really did originate in the liver. This would affect the type of treatment. We have an appointment with the oncologist at the Cancer Clinic at Strong Memorial in Rochester, NY on Monday, January 3rd. Our understanding is that at that time they will have gathered our options and present them to us and a course of treatment will be determined. Considering we only began this journey last Wednesday, they have been thorough and quick in checking into things. Yesterday, Wednesday, Matt was discharged from the hospital. Pretty much they were trying to get Matt home for Christmas which I think was a really good move.

It's a lot to digest. The best way I can figure to pray is as our Lord prayed, "If it be possible, let this cup be taken from us -- but not our will, but thine be done." It may "feel" like this is all about us -- but it's all about HIM and that HE receive the glory through the trials He has entrusted to us. Our desire is for the cup to be removed, for Matt to suddenly not be facing this grave disease, for a miracle. But our greater heart's desire is that God be glorified through our lives in whatever way will best bring HIM the glory. Keep us in your prayers.

Stress-Free Holidays

2010-12-13T07:15:00.004-05:00

I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. They are holidays geared for family time. They are just a day each, yet packed into that time between Thanksgiving and Christmas the average person (moms in particular) have this written or mental list that could scare the elves away. And yet, moms, unlike Santa, don't usually have a company of elves at their bidding to do all this preparation. The trick to stress-free holidays is to learn to enjoy not only the holidays, but the preparations as well!

The day after Thanksgiving begins the Christmas preparations in our house. Black Friday is when the majority of my Christmas shopping is done. My goal is usually to have it all bought that day, but goals are made to be adjusted.

That evening, or the next day, the Christmas decorations go up. This is when I usually call on my elves if they are available. Decorating as a family is quicker and easier. It's family time. It's memory-making time. And yes, having the boys bring up the plastic containers of Christmas decorations from the basement is much easier for me!

The next available Saturday when the house is not full of watching eyes is when I wrap the presents and get them under the tree. Stockings are stuffed and stored out of sight. This usually goes over much better for me if I've a large cup of coffee and a chocolate bar to set the mood.

As Christmas draws closer there are cookies to bake, a menu to plan, and a myriad of other events to plan and attend that take place in that time period between Thanksgiving and the end of the year.

It's a fact that the preparations and events surrounding this Holiday Season take time and effort. Yet if we can learn to slow down on the inside as we hurry up on the outside, enjoying the preparations as much as the holidays themselves, we'll find that stress-free holidays are possible! It's a paradox...but it works for me!

No Hope

2010-10-29T06:45:00.002-04:00

NOTE: The story below is a fictionalized combination of events that we saw happen while working with the Maquiritare people, who also called themselves the Ye'cuana.

~~~~~~~~~~

Juan felt the sweat dripping down his brow into his eyes. The hot sun beat down on his bronzed body as he slashed rhythmically away at the brush. He worked alongside the other men from the village to clear a garden for Clemencia.

Slash and burn. They had been doing this for generations and Juan was sure they would do it for generations to come. He was a Ye’cuana and proud of it. He came from a long line of strong men, men who could clear out of living in the dense jungle, men who could make dug-out canoes that were in high demand by other villages up and down the river, men who lived by the old traditions despite civilization creeping in on them, and men who needed strong women to survive alongside them in a hard land.

Juan glanced over to where Clemencia was giving drinks to the other men. She was a woman such as that, a strong Ye’cuana woman who made living in a hard land look easy. Better yet, she was in the right family line to marry Juan. Juan hoped his parents would arrange a marriage between him and Clemencia. She was beautiful in the Ye’cuana way. She had a solid back and neck, thick strong legs, and endurance. She was a woman that would make any man proud. She had the strength to bear many children.

Juan was young, strong—and in love.

Clemencia noticed Juan looking in her direction and headed his way.

“Would you like some of my drink?” she asked.

“Yes, I want it,” Juan responded, reaching for the large gourd of fermented drink. He downed it quickly though his stomach rebelled as more fluids were added to the large quantity he had consumed throughout the morning. But that was the Ye’cuana way. You never refused a drink—and you always emptied the entire gourd offered you.

Juan promptly turned to the side and let vomit spew from his mouth as the drink hit his already distended stomach. That was also the Ye’cuana way. Clemencia smiled as she retrieved the gourd. Juan was a man.

Feeling young and virile with the world before him, Juan returned to slashing the brush. He could feel Clemencia’s eyes on him and it was a good feeling.

Maybe it was the sun in his eyes, maybe it was the sweat dripping down his brow into his eyes, or maybe it was that his mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Clemencia. Whatever the reason, Juan’s reputation for having eyes like an eagle failed him that morning. The fluorescent green snake slivering through the brush remained obscured from his sight until it moved to strike—and then it was too late.

The strike was fast, hard and accurate. The fangs sank into Juan’s forearm and the feeling of the venom entering his body made Juan go cold with the chill of death despite the heat of the day. He knew all too well what was to come next—and it wasn’t the culmination of his dreams.

“Snake! Snake!” he yelled out a warning to those around him as he fought to not show his pain.

An uncle standing close by slashed at the retreating snake, cutting off its head in one smooth stroke.

Juan gripped his arm, the shock of what had just transpired causing a deep-seated fear to enter his bones. The men gathered around studying the snake from a safe distance. All agreed it was one of the deadliest in the jungle. All knew without stating it that young Juan was facing a death sentence.

The pain increased as they walked back toward the village. Juan was already spitting blood.

“Wait here,” he was ordered as they drew near the closest garden to the village.

Juan waited, knowing what was happening, hating it, but accepting it. They would go into the village, they would tell his mother what had happened, and they would bring him his hammock. He would not be allowed in the village because they knew he was going to die. If he were to die in the village that would necessitate a move of the entire village. Death could not take place within the village. That was the Ye’cuana way.

So he waited for their return. He waited for them to hang his hammock. He waited for death to come. He waited without hope.

The Master Artist

2010-10-22T15:48:00.000-04:00

Leaving for work this morning I was in awe at the vibrant fall colors displayed in the trees and shrubs. It struck me that here was the process of death, the death of the leaves—but it was beautiful. Only God could take what could be an ugly thing and make it beautiful.

God could have made the leaves to turn a dull brown or black at the first sign of frost. But He didn't. He created a world of beauty. I looked in awe at the mixture of yellows, reds, oranges and browns meticulously painted by the Master Artist on His canvas—His canvas being the world. It made me stand in awe of God. We serve an awesome God. Let us never forget that.

Embracing Change

2010-10-15T07:01:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I have not written because of writer's block. Sometimes it's been because, though much is happening, everything I would want to write about is of a personal or confidential nature -- and therefore not to share with the world. And sometimes it's been because more things than I could have imagined tugged for the attention of my free time.

Time passes. I get out of the habit of blogging, but find I miss it and wonder why I haven't prioritized a small amount of time to at least get a weekly blog on my page.

Life is like that. Life is constantly changing. New elements enter. Old elements often remain though sometimes there are subtle changes in their character. Sometimes that change is so marked that we find ourselves wondering if we should call them a 'new element.' Sometimes these elements take a sabbatical from our lives to return at a later date, and sometimes they permanently leave our lives after playing their important role.

These 'elements' include the people and relationships in our lives, our home life, our jobs, our responsibilities, and our extra-curricular activities. They also include our dreams, our goals, and our expectations. Change is inevitable.

Often I find myself re-prioritizing as the elements in my life change -- and that's not bad. It is often necessary. Some dreams and goals become obsolete, and we must accept that. Some dreams and goals may need to be allotted a "No Due Date" category for an undetermined length of time. I've done that. Sometimes they have remained there for a few weeks. Sometimes they have remained there for over a year.

Change is a part of the fabric of our lives. We can fight it -- or we can embrace it. We can be blessed by change -- or we can be burned by change. It all depends upon our reaction to it. I'd prefer to embrace it.

The Toy Box

2010-06-26T09:16:00.000-04:00

The twins weren't speaking yet. Gibberish would be the best way to describe the sounds that came out of their mouths---even if they were convinced they really were communicating! Usually that was not a problem...until this one day.

I was in the kitchen making dinner and had sent our toddler twins back to their bedroom to pick up their toys. They weren't gone long enough to have completed the job when they were back at my side gibbering away about something, a something of which I had no idea. All I knew was that they couldn't have finished picking up their toys that fast. Like a good and faithful mother, I sent them back to complete the job. They chattered away in their own little language at the idea, but complied, heading back to their bedroom.

It was only a few minutes before they were back again, this time the gibberish being even more animated. They were definitely intend on telling me something and not sure why I wasn't getting it! Realizing that nothing was probably going to get done until I checked this out, I followed them back to their bedroom where they excitedly pointed out to me that there was a snake in their toy box! I'm sure they were wondering why I hadn't understood them, why I couldn't have grasped the concept that they could NOT put away their toys!

I did what any good wife and mother does. I quickly took the twins from the room, away from the poisonous snake, as I simultaneously thanked God for His protection and called my husband to deal with the deadly intruder!

I'm sure the twins were disappointed when they realized that one snake in their toy box did not institute a life-time ban from picking up their toys!

The Great Escape

2010-02-28T18:00:00.006-05:00

It's been a strange winter in Central New York. We have escaped many of the crippling winter storms as they have amazingly dumped on the states south of us. ... Until the only day in a Central New York winter that I was to get a on a plane and head south for a few days of leisure.

I awoke to a beautiful landscape of freshly fallen snow. Surely three to four inches of white beauty would not cause my flight to be canceled!

Tuning in to the local news, I was greeted by reports of school closing after school closing after school closing. Any school I was aware of in all directions from our home was closed. A preemptive move, I reassured myself. A precautionary course of action in light of how snowfall south of us closed towns down. Surely this, in and of itself, was not enough to cause my flight to be canceled!

At work comments leaned to the negative, presumptions being that my flight could easily be canceled. Still, as I looked out the window I saw snow falling, but not a blizzard. My mantra continued: This was not enough to cause my flight to be canceled!

Leaving work an hour early to allow time for poor road conditions was the first slight admission to a possible problem. Still, I told myself, this was a precautionary action. I continued on with my plans on the premise that my flight was not yet canceled!

At the airport, waiting for my flight, the weather was beginning to deteriorate. The falling snow was turning to blizzard conditions. My husband faced poor driving conditions on his trip home.

Though my flight continued to stay listed as 'on time' on the flight board, flights around me were on, and suddenly off. If the weather would only continue to remain stable until we were up in the air flying high above the storm!

The weather conditions remained stable. My flight left on time with extra passengers on board, those passengers whose flights had been canceled and were looking for a different route towards home. Little did I know that I was getting out on one of the last flights before the worst of the storm dumped close to two feet of snow on central New York!

Ultimately arriving in sunny Florida I was greeted the next morning by news and photos from my family of two feet of snow in our driveway and of practically buried cars; of schools closed, not for precautionary measures, but because of roads still needing to be cleared of the massive snowfall; and of news reports of people being told to stay home and not to go to work.

Smiling from my sunny, snowless location, I thanked the Lord for holding off the storm until my flight left, for making my "Sister Weekend" a reality and allowing me to escape one of the year's worst winter storms!

Unwelcome Intruders

2010-02-19T23:27:00.003-05:00

It was the voices suddenly lowered to a near whisper that caught my attention. In a house of rambunctious boys, whispers meant I needed to really pay attention.

Walking out of the office into the living room I was greeted by the sight portrayed in the picture above. The unwelcome visitor had found its way in through a screen torn the previous night by a cat refusing to stay outdoors. Our eldest son stood poised, BB gun in hand, aiming at the unsuspecting intruder.

"Wouldn't it be wise to have a machete handy, just in case?" I asked as I scooped up our miniature doberman pincher in my arms, poised myself, but poised to make a mad dash for the bedroom if the snake moved from its perch.

They obliged my need for a back-up plan, but my fears were unwarranted. With machete at hand, Joe took the shot and the snake fell dead to the cement floor below. Another unwelcomed intruder disposed of.

Cash For Clunkers

2010-02-13T06:00:00.003-05:00

Last year "Cash for Clunkers" was a big hit. If you took in your old clunker of a car you were promised credit towards a spanking new one! Not a bad deal...but there's a greater deal out there!

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read:

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

God has promised that at salvation we become a new creature (a new person!) in Christ. He doesn't just give us a credit towards becoming a new creature. He takes away the old clunker and GIVES us the new! We don't have to pay a dime. It's all Him!

The government has offered a credit from the old towards the new! God has offered mankind a new and completely free replacement for the old! Which do you think is the better deal?

Navigating the Slippery Roads of Life

2010-02-10T06:30:00.001-05:00

Driving to work on a snowy winter morning under slippery road conditions and poor visibility can be a challenge. Despite the beauty of large snowflakes falling around us, visibility can be impaired, our sight limited to close quarters, making driving a hazard. Slushy, slippery or icy road conditions add an extra challenge to the morning commute, a challenge that lacks any beauty to it.

Likewise, in life we face the challenge of navigating slushy, slippery or icy paths. Reaching a point of indecision or temptation in our lives, if relying on our own strength and not totally dependent on our Lord and Savior, we can find ourselves sliding out of control towards the ditch. We need to have the Lord at the wheel of our lives to navigate us through the slippery roads of our lives.

Similar to how beautiful large snowflakes can impair our visibility in driving, there can be snowflakes in our lives that in and of themselves are good, but that in excess can impair or completely obscure our direction and purpose. The individual snowflakes in our lives may not be great enough to distract us from our purpose in life, but the accumulative effect can be enough to redirect us, possibly causing us to end up ditched and damaged. We need to guard our hearts and minds against even the good things in life if we find they are steering us away from an intimate relationship with our Lord and Savior.

Let's drive defensively, remembering to keep the Lord at the wheel our life!

The Contrast

2010-01-28T06:46:00.002-05:00

Most days go about the same. Upon waking, I walk downstairs to find the automatic coffeemaker has brewed a fresh pot of coffee. After coffee and devotions, I turn on the flat panel TV and catch the morning news & weather before heading upstairs to get dressed for the day. Ready for the day, I double-check that I have my laptop, cell phone, and yes, the keys to my Toyota Yaris---which I love and my husband loves making fun of it!---before heading out the door for the office.

On some days as I'm walking out the door of my nice home that contains all the modern conveniences that we Americans take for granted ... on some days I feel a disconnect. The contrast between my current life and my former life is so great that the one at times seems to begin to fade away. And yet I do not want that part of my life to fade away. I want to remember. I want to continue to have my goals, my desires, and my mindset tempered by a life far different from the one I now lead.

I want to remember that I lived in a remote jungle village only accessible by river or plane. I want to remember that I lived in a primitive mud and pole hut with a palm roof---and that I shared it with creatures that I often times wished God hadn't bothered to create! I'm sure snakes, spiders and scorpions had a better reputation before the fall of mankind!

I want to remember that one outhouse is enough for a crowd. Who would spend more than the absolute time necessary in a palm-walled hut shared with spiders? I want to remember that the closest thing to air-conditioning was a dip in the river. I want to remember how it felt to live without refrigeration, without microwaves, without a hair dryer, and without internet.

I want to remember that one can live without and still live a full and wonderful life, that all the trappings (as wonderful as they are!) of American society are not essential to our happiness. I want to remember that it's not about what we have, but about who we serve. It's not about what we've acquired in life, but about a relationship with the God of the Universe.

When Pruning Must Wait

2009-11-17T06:47:00.010-05:00

There are times in life when we're busy. Then there are times in life when we are unrealistically busy. I'm at the 'unrealistically busy' juncture. In our Ladies' Bible Study we were studying having a purpose statement for our lives so that we don't, by default, live by the greatest screaming demand in our life instead of for what counts for eternity.

A visual word picture was given, viewing our lives as a tree. The trunk represents our relationship to God, the limbs represent our major God-given responsibilities, and the smaller branches represent the activities and opportunities of life. It went on to conjure up the picture in our minds of our main purpose in life becoming obscured by an overabundance of activity branches. Taking time to prune back the activity branches in our lives was deemed a good thing to do on a regular basis.

I thought that was a great idea. The incessant planner in me started running over the possibilities as I drove back and forth from work. I even drew a rough picture of a tree with labels on the trunk, the supporting branches and on the activity branches (NOT while I was driving!). The problem was when it came to pruning there just wasn't anything that I could realistically prune away at the present time. The only things I could prune were those that I thought would be great ideas to do, but hadn't even made it onto paper because I knew I lacked time to do them! The activities on my tree weren't frivolous, but essential to the health of the supporting branches. To prune them at this time would damage the tree, and by default the large branch would crash into the other trees in the forest of my life damaging those as well.

I had a moment of panic.

"But God, if I'm to prune my tree and there's nothing to prune, how do I do this? You know I'm feeling wiped out. You know I can't keep this up forever... ."

Hmm.... He knows I can't keep this up forever? Am I know telling HIM what HE knows? What He knows is my frame, exactly what I am and am not capable of doing as I allow Him to be the trunk of my tree of life, as I allow my purpose in life to be wrapped up in Him first and foremost. He knows what is best for me at every stage of my life. He knows what will grow strong roots in my life, how to make my life most effective in reaching out to others in the 'forest' around me. He knows my frame better than I know it! Am I really trying to tell Him that He knows what? That He's making a mistake by giving me this load?

The moment of panic passed.

"Okay, God, maybe I can't do this alone, but with YOU all things are possible. I will trust YOU for the timing of when and if my major branches can be carefully removed, or when some of those lowly activity branches will have lived out their purpose or be capable of being delegated elsewhere. In the meantime, I'll remember that YOU are the master architect. You know my frame, my structure. You know exactly how much stress my frame can bear. I will trust You."

Our Responsibility Vs. God's Responsibility

2009-11-04T06:34:00.015-05:00

Where He leads me, I will follow... .

These lyrics from a song express our hearts' desire to follow God wherever He leads us. And lead us He has. He led us to Venezuela, ultimately to serve for many years in a remote jungle village under primitive living conditions, reaching out to a branch of the Maquiritare tribal nation that stood strong against Christianity. The villagers were clear in stating, "We're glad you came. We'll accept all the benefits of having a missionary in our village, but when you're ready to preach we will not listen."

Daunting? Of course! Those aren't the words a missionary wants to hear soon after settling in. But it was okay. We were convinced that God had led us there. Our responsibility was to be faithful. The people's hearts were God's responsibility.

Ten years later God led us away from the jungle village of Parupa, leaving few believers, but many friends. Sadly, for the most part they remained true to their word, accepting all the benefits, but refusing to listen to God's Word. Though recognizing the advantages gained in culture and language by living in such a remote village steeped in the old, traditional ways; we can't say we comprehended why God would have us there and so few come to know Him. We only knew we'd been faithful to His leading.

His leading continued, taking us back to the heart of the Maquiritare nation where churches were in abundance but stagnant and crippled by unresolved sin. Dealing with sin and then aiding in the healing process took time. God gave us the time necessary to see the Maquiritare church heal and become spiritually mature before the doors to that region of Venezuela were closed. We needed each of those years for the healing to be complete and God provided those years by moving us out of Parupa. Still our hearts yearned for the still largely unsaved village of Parupa.

With the region soon to be closed, God led us back to the US. It was with mixed feelings that we boarded the jet heading stateside, away from a lifetime of ministry. There was joy at the thriving Maquiritare church as a whole, yet sadness and sorrow that many of our friends in Parupa still faced a Christ-less eternity. There was sadness in leaving a ministry we loved, yet a strange excitement and joy in knowing it was God, not us, moving us onward. There was uncertainty regarding our future mixed with the calm assurance that God knew where He was leading us. It was a time of conflicting emotions.

It would be several more years before we would learn of the Maquiritare believers reaching out to the largely unsaved village of Parupa. We had planted and watered the seed. Others received the increase. And we all rejoiced.

God leading us to leave NTM after twenty years of service took some getting used to. We moved to central New York to work with the migrant Hispanics in the area, a ministry my husband had begun during our times of leave from Venezuela, but that now he was able to expand upon. We bought a house in the area, we settled down, and we figured we'd be there forever.

Several years into the Hispanic ministry various circumstances made it apparent that the Lord was moving us on once again, asking us leave our home and take a pastorate. The church was small and struggling, but with a great desire to see growth and revival in their midst. The logistical nightmares to overcome to make the move a reality were great.

Daunting? Of course! It seemed an impossibility! But God.... God gave us the definite directive to move forward despite the obstacles, then He opened doors where doors shouldn't have been. God made it possible.

God has given us a love for these people, this church, and this community. We move forward anticipating what miracles God will perform in these people's lives, in this church, and in this community. Our responsibility is to be faithful; His is the increase. Is there not a theme here?

This Generation's Nightmare

2009-07-11T06:00:00.000-04:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

The Joys of Modern Technology

2009-07-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

How Would Your Rate Your Week?

2009-06-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

The Joys of Paperwork

2009-06-21T14:00:00.006-04:00

      My Venezuelan identification, called a cedula had expired. Multiple trips to town to try to remedy the problem had been without positive results. The entire country had been without the ability to make the identification cards for longer than one could dream possible. But now, they were ready to make identification cards. Stations were set up throughout the city to process the masses --- and masses there were. Arriving at one such location, I prepared for a long wait in a long line. I was not disappointed.
      After hours under the hot tropical sun, I finally entered the building. I sat at the foldout table across from the woman filling out the forms, answering all the pertinent questions. Next was the wait in line to have my picture was taken, followed by another wait to have my fingerprints taken. The final step before printing the card was to verify the information. The end was in sight...or so I thought.
      As I read the information that was to go on the card, my heart sank. They had me down as an American that was born in Canada. I didn't want to deal with it, but I knew if they printed it as such it would come back to haunt me. I admitted the error in the paperwork and was sent back to the woman at the table, the one with all the forms. I could understand why the woman had become confused.
      "I was born in Wales, Great Britain --- not Canada," I explained to the woman.
      "But when you became a Resident of Venezuela you were a Canadian?"
      "Correct," I answered, pleased we were getting this sorted out.
      "But now you're an American as well?"
      "Yes, that's correct." Whew! This was going better than I'd expected.
      "But that can't be," she then insisted, dashing my hopes of a quick resolution.
      "But it is true," I patiently insisted.
      We went back and forth for a while, but she didn't get it --- and I couldn't get why she couldn't get it. She would agree with every statement --- then say it couldn't be.
      We gave up. She sent me several levels up the chain to the women in charge.
      "So let me see if I understand this correctly," she told me. "You were born in Great Britain but moved to Canada and became a Canadian. You then entered Venezuela as a Canadian, but now you're an American as well."
      "Yes." She'd got it!
      "That can't be," she said next, echoing the other woman's sentiments and blowing my bubble of hope. "You can't be a citizen of both countries."
      We went round and round going nowhere.
      God, I need a way to explain this that also allows her not to lose face, I prayed. God gave me the answer.
      "Let me explain it this way," I began. "My three youngest sons were born in Venezuela. Being that their father is an American, he had the right to petition for 'Birth Abroad' status for them, making them Americans through him. When we were at the American embassy doing that, the Venezuelan woman working there urged us to be sure to also get their Venezuelan paperwork in line also, getting their Venezuelan passports as well. We smiled and let her know we had already done that. See, Venezuela doesn't say you lose your Venezuelan citizenship just because you become a citizen of another country. Likewise, Great Britain and Canada do not say you lose your citizenship there just because you become a citizen of the United States. Therefore, I do have three citizenships."
      Before I explain what happened next, please understand that being a foreigner, and American at that, in a country that wasn't very friendly to Americans at the time, my general goal was to try to be as invisible as my glaring white skin would allow me to be. But invisibility was not an option... .
      The light went on. I could see it in her eyes. She got it and admitted it, not just to me, not just to the women across the room that had been working on my paperwork, but to all in-between.
      "She was born in Great Britain," she yelled across the room as all eyes turned on me.
      "She then moved to Canada and became a Canadian," she yelled in the same loud voice as more eyes turned to study the pale foreigner.
      "And then she married an American and became an American citizen," she concluded, saying what I had been saying for a long while now, but that suddenly made sense. And as long as it made sense to her, the other woman was willing to accept it.
      I felt anything but invisible at that moment as I walked back across the crowded room to finish up the paperwork. All eyes were on the strange foreigner who seemed to have the exceptionally strange hobby of collecting citizenships. But I didn't care. I was going to walk out of there with a valid identification card! Mission accomplished!

How Do We Handle Our Emotions?

2009-06-20T06:00:00.000-04:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

How Do You Eat an Ant?

2009-06-18T06:00:00.002-04:00

There's not always a good escape route. I might have had one to avoid eating slimy worms, but on another occasion my plan was not quite so foolproof.

The conference was nearing an end. By being quite adept at finding the more "civilized" Maquiritares to sit with during meals, I had avoided all unsavory morsels. My escape routes had worked. Or so I thought....

On this day I was earlier to the dining hall than normal. I seated myself by a group of women (men and women ate separately). I was feeling quite pleased with myself. What I failed to consider was the fact that the seats to my left were empty. A group of very backwoodsy women arrived, chattering happily, so pleased to find the seats next to me vacant. Seating themselves, they began to offer me some of their delicacies. There was no escape. There was no where to run, no where to hide --- at least not without being offensive, and that, I did not want to be.

Large ants floated on the surface of the water in the plastic dish that was set before me. And then they weren't floating --- they were swimming! They were trying to escape! I was ready to help them, but restrained myself.

Upon my admission that I'd never ate ants before, they were eager to guide me in how to do so without getting my tongue bit in the process. It was getting more interesting by the minute!

You bite the head off first, killing the ant and preventing the possibility of being bit. Then you pop the remaining body of the ant in ... and down it goes!

Think cod liver oil capsule. That's about the right size. The juice oozing out of the body and down my throat definitely had an oily feel to it. Juice. I had to name it something besides "ant guts" to manage to let it glide down my throat without any embarrassing regurgitation!

I survived, the women were thrilled, and the realization came that it's not always best to have an escape route. Some things in life just have to be experienced.

Check Out the Sequel to "Betrayed!"

2009-06-16T06:00:00.001-04:00

Can one hide forever under witness protection? What if there's a leak? What happens then? These thoughts have tormented Alyssa. She's about to find out what happens when her nightmares become reality. She's about to find out if her God is real enough to carry her through.

To Purchase a Copy of "Identity Revealed":

The Mystery of Old Houses

2009-06-15T06:00:00.005-04:00

Old houses are like mysteries. You're always wondering what you'll find when you pull back another layer. We pulled back some layers in the entryway recently as the preliminary step to laying tile. Beneath the drab brown carpet was ugly green linoleum.

Peeking beneath the edges where the carpet led to the family room revealed an old oak floor beneath. That led to the scraping away of the ugly green linoleum to discover if an oak floor lay beneath there as well. You can imagine my amazement mixed with total confusion at why someone would glue linoleum on top of a once beautiful oak floor!

But the mystery did not stop there. A place in the middle of the entryway turned out not to be part of the oak floor, but plywood nailed over where a trap door used to be. Knowing the older part of the house was held up by hewn logs, the bark still on in places, it made me wonder how the house used to be laid out. Had the trap door always been by the front door. What if it were open as someone came dashing through the front door? Not a pretty picture.

We've given up on the idea of tiling the entryway. The oak floor throughout the lower level is a much more appealing idea. For now new plywood has replaced the old battered plywood covering the trapdoor. Eventually we hope to replace it with oak, blending it to the rest of the entryway floor. In the meantime I'll be shopping for an entry rug to disguise the unfinished area. Now we're ready for the final sanding of the entryway followed by a coat of varnish. And then? It's off to discover what other mysteries are waiting to be uncovered in our old house.

Are You a Reader? Check out "Betrayed!"

2009-06-14T06:00:00.014-04:00

While on an assignment to uncover the details of an assassination plot, Jeremi Grant sustains a gunshot wound that grazes his skull, leaving him with no memory, with no explanation for why he is at the scene of a murder. An undercover FBI agent is dead. His fellow agents want the man who did it. All evidence points to Jeremi. He resisted arrest at the scene of the crime, his fingerprints were on the murder weapon, and the bullet that grazed his skull came from the dead agent's gun!

Under arrest for murder, Jeremi has no explanation for the FBI. Worse yet, he has no explanation for himself. He struggles to reconcile between the evidence laid before him and the man he feels he is inside. Meanwhile, an assassination is going to take place and the details needed to prevent it are locked in Jeremi's mind. Escaping from the FBI, Jeremi is determined to find out who he really is. The joy of remembering that he is a Christian is dampened by questions over his many dubious talents. Who and what was he?

The pieces slowly begin to fall into place, but will Jeremi remember enough in time to prevent the assassination?

To Purchase a Copy of "Betrayed":

What Happens to Undelivered E-mails?

2009-06-13T06:00:00.002-04:00

I would tend to agree with how the cartoonist views it in the cartoon below!

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

The Best Laid Plans of Men and Mice...and Pregnant Women.

2009-06-11T20:00:00.003-04:00

The night before should have forewarned me. Cars were scarce amongst us new missionaries there in Venezuela and an insistent offer came to drive to me the Bible study that evening. I'd been riding on the back of our motorbike since day one of the pregnancy. I had no problem climbing aboard again that evening. Yet appreciating their concern -- and with rainclouds looming on the horizon -- I obliged.

Labor began in the wee hours of the morning, light and inconsistent compared to the birth of our first son. When the doctor said he would meet us at the hospital at 7 a.m. it sounded like a reasonable plan -- that is until my water burst. The pain that followed was caused by a child suddenly plummeting down the birth canal. Matt walked in as I sat panting to keep from pushing.

"We're not going to make it to the hospital. The baby is coming," I told him between pants.

"Should I go get Cubie?" Matt asked, referring to our friend who was a nurse.

My mind said, "No! Why would I ever want you to leave me when I'm ready to deliver your child?" I think it was the image flashing through my mind of my husband passed out on the floor while attempting to assist that made very different words come out. "Yes, that would a good idea," I heard myself say.

Matt was out the door in record time. I could hear him one story below our window rattling at the lock on the cage where our motorbike was stored. The head was crowning. To tell or not to tell?

Part of me wanted to call out to Matt, telling him of the progress; the other part realized the indecision that would create. If complications arose we would need a nurse. It was best if he continued on for help. I could always pant. There was no 911 number to call.

I heard Matt revving up the motorbike, the sound of its engine disappearing in the distance. Childbirth continued. Our child was born without any complications, slipping into my waiting hands in a surprisingly natural and amazing moment.

Matt arrived less than ten minutes later with Cubie. If only I'd had a camera to capture the look on their faces when they entered the room. I don't know what they expected to find, but they definitely weren't expecting to find me with a baby in my arms.

"It's...it's...a baby!" The words came out in a stutter from a man who never stutters.

Cubie's shock was combined with sheer disappointment that she was too late to deliver the child herself. "I know you're in shock...," she began.

I could only smile back. "No, I'm not in shock. I think it's you two that are in shock right now!"

And no one disagreed.

Tagged By Another Blogger...

2009-06-06T05:00:00.001-04:00

I was tagged by Jungle Mom from The Jungle Hut to list 8 random facts about me---so here goes!

I hold citizenship in three countries, four including my Heavenly home where one day I will go! Can you guess which ones---and why?
"Jungle Mom" said she must wear mascara and eyebrow powder EVERYDAY! No matter where she may be, or what else she must do without, these two items were not optional!!! For me it is mascara and eyebrow liner. Without these people will ask in hushed tones if I put makeup on one eye and not the other! There's this blond streak through that side of my head!
I married young and have no regrets! I look forward to growing old with my hubby---meaning I don't think I'm old yet even if I kids would dare to differ!
I graduated from High School early and was a freshman at NTBI at the age of 17. (A whole year older than Jungle Mom!)
I'm a mother of twins. That makes me a survivor!
I delivered our second child all by myself---while my husband was off trying to get a nurse to the house a.s.a.p.!
I don't have a middle name.
I've never had a speeding ticket (or any ticket for that matter!). Hmm... . Do I dare admit it?!

So, consider yourself tagged! If you do this on your blog make sure to let me know!

Spider Stories

2009-06-02T20:00:00.000-04:00

I can't say I have a phobia of spiders. I barely notice the ones Stateside. They are so little! Tarantulas on the other hand are not so tiny. In our early days in the village of Parupa we lived in a palm-roofed hut with dirt floors. Spiders running on the ceiling, the walls or floor was not an oddity. I remember lying in bed convincing myself that I was safe on the bed.

One night I looked up to see a large tarantula lowering itself from the ceiling towards me. See, they can get on the bed! my mind practically screamed at me.

I awoke with a start, only able to convince myself it had been a dream because of the logical fact that a moment before I could clearly see the spider ... but now I was staring into pitch blackness.

It had been a dream. There was no tarantula lowering itself to my face. But the truth of the matter stood firm. Spiders can lower themselves by spider webs. Spiders could get on my bed. My rational mind had to accept the fact---but how to deal with it?

I lay in bed staring into the pitch blackness knowing a spider could be there. God would protect me, I reassured myself. That sounded good. It sounded solid. It sounded spiritual. God wouldn't want me to be bit by a spider so He would prevent it.

Hmm... I was convinced He could prevent it. I was not so convinced there was any scriptural basis for God having to prevent it. God could also give me a million dollars, but that didn't mean He was going to.

What did ring true was the scriptural truth about fear---about fear not being of God. This wasn't really about whether or not a spider would get on my bed. It was about accepting God's will, not my will, for my life. If that meant I would fall asleep to be awakened by a tarantula reaching out to touch my face with its hairy legs, could I accept that? Could I accept whatever circumstances God was to allow in my life for whatever reason He permitted it?

I took a deep breath. I knew God loved me more than I could ever comprehend. I knew I could trust HIS best will for my life---even if that meant a possible tarantula in my bed. I closed my eyes and slept like a baby.

Jungle Walks

2009-06-01T21:00:00.000-04:00

My co-worker and I used to take long walks along sometimes barely visible jungle trails, machetes in hand. I remember her asking about the various scurrying noises we heard along the way. The airstrip may have been a safer environment, but the jungle was definitely cooler. The jungle also had the mysterious element of "where would this trail lead us?"

One such day the trail we explored led to the river's edge. Looking down at the cool river water my co-worker asked, "Should we take a swim?" She wasn't ready for my negative response.

Laughing, I had to explain that the text I'd been transcribing for language study that week had been two true stories from the lives of the villagers. The first was about a mountain lion that had terrorized the village, keeping people locked behind the doors of their houses for safety. That having been a true story, I was impressed that I was out in the jungle that day at all.

But the second story, it was about an anaconda wrapping itself around one of the Maquiritare men. Being a strong man of sturdy build, he had managed to chop the anaconda with sufficient strength with his machete to deter the attack. I didn't figure I would have such luck. I lacked the sturdy build and the strength! I also had to admit that being squeezed to death and then swallowed by an anaconda hit near the top of my most non-desirable methods of dying!

We didn't swim that day, but we did continue our walk in the jungle.

Worms...

2009-05-30T14:00:00.004-04:00

How you ever stepped outside of your comfort zone to be a friend? One day in the Maquiritare village of Parupa I did just that. The women of the village invited me to go "worm collecting." That doesn't sound too bad, right? With the mud squishing up between my toes and my fingers digging deep into the mud along the riverbank, I felt like a kid again. I had decided if I was going worm collecting then I would collect a lot of worms!

Hours later we were back in the dugout canoe slowly motoring back to the village. We had our worms, but the work wasn't over. The women were rinsing their buckets of worms over and over again. I set myself to the task, rinsing my worms over and over again.

You might be wondering why they would bother to rinse worms that were going to be used for bait. The truth of the matter was, these worms weren't intended for bait. Some would be boiled, while others would be slowly smoked into jerky. This was supper we'd gone digging for!

I had known the intent, though didn't bother dwelling on it. My stomach did much better without envisioning these slimy creatures getting stuck half way down my throat. Anyways, I had my escape route all planned. Each women would take her private stash of worms home at the end of the day. My goal was to not take my private stash home but to stop by the house of one of the little old gramma's in the village on my way home and bless her with a wonderful bucketful of worms! And this was one of those times my escape route actually worked!

Snakebite

2009-05-27T22:00:00.001-04:00

She was reaching to harvest more of the yucca plant when the snake bit her on the hand, its venomous poison entering her bloodstream. She was a wife, a sister and a mother. Her children ranged in age from young to some already looking for husbands of their own. But right now she was just a woman in trouble.

Hurrying back to the village, she headed down to the river's edge to bathe. She took the time to dress herself in clean clothes before heading to the missionaries' house for help. She figured she'd probably be flown out to town for medical help and wanted to look her best. She didn't figure on the fact that all her activity was pumping the venomous poison throughout her body, closer and closer to her heart, closer and closer to death.

The missionaries did all they could, but the venom had already taken hold. Her time was too short. Town was too far away. She hadn't been preparing herself for a trip to town. She had been preparing herself for her death.

She hadn't awoken that morning expecting to face death, but death came nonetheless. A husband stood stoic but looking forlorn without his wife. A sister wailed the death of her best friend. Children mourned the loss of their mother.

We don't awaken each morning expecting to face death, but one day, maybe when least expected, we will face death. How are we preparing ourselves?

If You're Tempted To Complain....

2009-05-11T17:00:00.003-04:00

We had bad news. Jamie was in an accident -- again. He says he's fine. He thinks the car is fixable but we have yet to know all the details on both counts. Matt called me with this news as I unlocked my office door this morning. What a beginning to a Monday morning! Oh, he was driving Matt's new car ... with Matt's permission. Matt's headed out to pick Jamie up now.

I sat down at my desk feeling overwhelmed and not ready for all this would entail. And yes, feeling rather ready to complain. Hadn't we just paid out for another accident? Hadn't we just cleared up all the paperwork? Did this really have to happen now? I just didn't feel like I had the energy for it.

I reached to tear off the weekend's verse and words from my daily calendar to reveal what verse and words of encouragement the Lord would give me this morning -- praying as I did so.

Here's what the Lord gave me this morning:

May 11 -

"I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed." Psalms 77:3

Today I resolve not to complain even once.

Hmm... . I had to chuckle. No words of "I'll uphold you." No words of "I'm your solid rock." Just straight to the point. "You don't want to be overwhelmed? Then don't complain."

"Yes, I'll strengthen you---but resolve not to complain."

"Yes, I'm the same today as I was yesterday--but resolve not to complain."

Okay, I thought, maybe I should see what He was going to tell me tomorrow. I lifted the small square page and read...

May 12 -

"I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed." Psalms 77:3

What? The same verse? Did I not flip the page right??!!! (I checked it and I had!) So what words went with the verse for tomorrow?

Again today, I RESOLVE not to complain even once.

By now I'm laughing. Do I dare check what May 13th holds for me? Of course!

May 13 -

"The earth trembled and shook." Psalms 77:18

Whew! Not the same verse. I was beginning to wonder what challenges the Lord was going to use to grow me this week! And then I read...

This is what I'll record the day I actually cease complaining. (But I'm getting closer!)

I leaned back in my chair and laughed and didn't bother checking May 14th. This week, I'm definitely resolving not to complain!

Of course, all prayers to that end are appreciated! :-)

Back to Sourpuss Carlos

2009-04-19T07:26:00.007-04:00

Remember the post on the salvation of Sourpuss Carlos? The story didn't end there. Carlos became a regular at our house. He became my husband's translator checker for the chronological Bible lessons Matt was writing in the Maquiritare tribal language, and as such, Carlos received his own personal discipleship class from the Word of God.

The Bible speaks of those who read God's Word but go away unchanged. That was not the case in the life of Carlos. He was a dry sponge soaking up the truths from God's Word. He was a dry sponge turned sopping wet to overflowing with the truths of God's Word.

Carlos did not pick and choose from the many truths. He didn't say, "Well, I don't like what that truth would mean in my life so I'll ignore it." No, he took each truth, he applied each truth, and we had the privilege of watching our strangely odd looking SourPuss Carlos turn into a joyful caring man of God whose testimony shone as a bright beacon to the unsaved in the village.

His life should be a testimony to us all. We have so much truth before us. Are we picking and choosing which truths to obey or are we applying each truth as it is revealed to us and allowing it to change us from the inward out?

Doesn't Everyone Speak Spanish?

2009-04-16T05:00:00.002-04:00

On my husband's recent trip to Guatemala he was welcomed with open arms into the homes of men he knew. There were humorous moments as well. The partner and manager of the farm closest to where we live had traveled down with Matt.

Doug was dependent on Matt since he does not speak Spanish. One of the young girls found this non-Spanish speaking white man to be quite fascinating.

She just had to ask my husband, “He really doesn’t speak any Spanish?”

"No, he doesn’t,” Matt responded.

“And he doesn’t understand it at all? Like, if I talk to him he really doesn’t know what I’m saying?” She just had to confirm that this could really be true.

“That’s right,” Matt told the girl.

She thought it was unbelievable. It didn't fit any norm in her young mind. Everyone understands Spanish. Everyone speaks Spanish---at least in her world view!

She wasn't the only one in awe of these foreign visitors. All the children were pleased to have such strangely different white men in their homes. They were quite disappointed when they found out Matt and Doug were leaving Monday morning. They had been hoping to take them to school for “show and tell”! These white men were quite the novelty!

Did We Choose Our Place of Birth?

2009-04-15T06:08:00.004-04:00

Did we choose our place of birth? What would our lives be like if we'd been born to different parents in a different culture in a different country?

We could have just as easily been born into a poor Maquiritare tribal family as we could have been born into a comfortable American family.

We could be eking out of living in the jungle. We could be walking ten minutes to the river to scrub our clothes on a rock at the river’s edge. We could be carrying all our water in a bucket on our head from the river to our palm roofed hut and sweeping our dusty dirt floors.

We could be working long hours in the hot sun to grow all our food. We could be dependent on whether our husband is a good hunter or not for meat.

We could be living in fear that our child will die from malaria or hepatitis or a simple cut that became infected just because medicine is unavailable.

We could be consumed with simply living our lives to exist. with none of the conveniences we take for granted. No ice for our soda. No refrigeration at all. No telephones, no internet, no blogging, no facebook.

We did not choose our place of birth and yet we so often take our relative luxurious life for granted. Sometimes we’re even downright ungrateful and discontented.

If we could have chosen where we were to be born, would we have chosen to be born into poverty? Probably not.

What if we knew that by living an impoverished life we could impact others lives? Would we have chosen to have been born to live an impoverished life? Probably not.

Yet that is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus could have stayed in heaven and lived in heavenly glory. Instead He chose to leave heaven.

He chose to come even though he knew that after spending three years teaching His disciples and others, that in the end one of His disciples would sell Him out—and the world at large would reject Him.

He chose to live this life even knowing they would mock Him, beat Him and ultimately hang Him on a cross to suffer an unimaginably painful death.

He chose to be born into this impoverished life in order that He might give up HIS life to make a way possible for us to be reconciled with His Heavenly Father, to make His Heavenly Father our Heavenly Father.

Jesus was man, but He was God. As God He was omniscient. He knew all this was going to happen. He knew, but He still came.

He knew, but He still submitted to the will of His Heavenly Father.

Jesus was God, but He was man. He agonized in prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane before being arrested, praying that "if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not My will but Thine be done!"

"If it be possible, please don't make me suffer this way! If it be possible, please don't make me have to be rejected and crucified! If it is possible... ."

"Nevertheless, not MY WILL but THINE be done!"

Total acceptance and total submission to the will of His Father even knowing what it would cost Him.

As we’ve just celebrated Easter and have been dwelling on all Christ did for us, are we ready to say as Jesus said, “Not my will, but Thine be done!”

Are we ready to submit OUR will to GOD’S will? Are we ready to die to self that Christ may live in and through us? Are we ready for total acceptance of whatever God's will for our lives is? Are we ready for total acceptance and total submission?

We may not have been able to choose where we are born, but we can choose whom we will serve.

It's All Because He Lives

2009-04-12T07:27:00.002-04:00

It's all BECAUSE HE LIVES!

The difference between Christianity and other religions is that you can't find Jesus in the grave
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

We are not saved just because He died for our sins, but because He rose again triumphant over the grave...
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

We were saved by grace and we live by grace
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

We do not mourn but instead we rejoice
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

We are motivated to serve Him
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

We need to be telling others the good news
BECAUSE HE LIVES.

The list could go on and on. Add some in your own mind and take time today to remember that....

...it's all BECAUSE HE LIVES!

GAP Insurance

2009-04-07T06:00:00.004-04:00

Have you ever heard of GAP insurance? It's an insurance that pays the difference between what the regular insurance company will pay for the totaled car based on their arbitrary numbers---and what you still owe on your car loan. It's a lifesaver that generally, or so I'm told, is an easy process.

Of course, life isn't always easy. There are so often complications....

In this case, the biggest complication was that neither the bank nor the car dealership where we signed the GAP insurance contract (and received a receipt for paying for it!) accepted responsibility for the GAP insurance. Both kept sending me back to the other saying it was their responsibility. Neither could tell give me contact information for the illusive GAP insurance company on the contract.

"But you sold it to me," was part of my argument. Did it not seem reasonable to presume they could locate the company?

Obviously not. After making multiple phone calls for over an hour in the parking lot of the car dealership, I was finally able to track down the illusive GAP insurance, determine what the process really was, and find a person that agreed that I really did have GAP insurance with them!

In retrospect, I think the complications arose due to the fact that when we bought the car our loan was drawn up with one bank, who later sold out to another bank. The new bank didn't have the connections to the GAP insurance we had purchased. Understandable, but not impressive from a business point of view.

As I write this I can only presume it all went well. Once all were in the loop and we settled with the insurance company, the GAP insurance told us they would settle with the bank and we needed to do nothing further. Sounds good. It's been a lifesaver, even if in our case it wasn't the easiest of processes!

We bought a replacement car, an '07 Ford Fusion that was owned by an 81 year old woman and had low mileage. And yes, we bought GAP insurance. Hassle or no hassle, I'm a believer in GAP insurance!

International Calls

2009-03-31T06:18:00.006-04:00

My husband and I were enjoying a weekend away in Canada at my parents' place when the call came. Realizing Jamie was making an international call from his cell phone, I began to scold him a bit when he interrupted me, "But Mom, I have to talk to you. I've been in a crash."

Suddenly the charges incurred from an international call made on his cell phone were irrelevant.

As the story unfolded we quickly surmised that the boys, though bumped around and achy, appeared to be fine. There had been no ambulance rushing them off to the hospital. For that we were most grateful.

The car on the other hand was not so fine. Being sideswiped by a pickup truck failing to stop at a four-way stop doesn't leave the prettiest looking of cars!

Choosing between the two? I'm very grateful it's our car that's sitting in the garage in need of major repairs rather than our boys lying in the hospital in need of the same!

Sourpuss Carlos

2009-03-26T19:00:00.010-04:00

Carlos was a strangely odd looking man with a sour disposition and a frown on his face. He wasn't high on the list of prospective believers-to-be. Not that we did not wish to see him saved. It just didn't look very hopeful. He didn't like us. He didn't want to listen.

I remember the day his wife left him for a younger, better looking man with all the flash. Having only seen the sour disposition side of Carlos, I found it interesting to listen to the men in our visiting room discussing what a fool his wife was for leaving him. In their minds, she was leaving a good provider, a great hunter and woodsman...for some flash. It made me sit up and reconsider who this Carlos was.

The upside to the problems in Carlos' life was that, without a family, he began to spend more time with my father-in-law learning to read. Of course, Dad used the Bible to teach him. Admittedly, for the most part, he still maintained his sour disposition.

Months passed. The language barrier was definitely a big issue---but God is bigger than all things. Through Dad's lifestyle testimony and the truths Carlos could not ignore through the reading of the Bible, Carlos leaped from the list of "not hopeful prospective believers-to-be" to having his name written in the Lamb's Book of Life!

Solutions for the Insanely Busy

2009-03-25T20:00:00.001-04:00

I've started another blog. It is called "Solutions for the Insanely Busy." I'm posting the introduction entry from there right here so you can decide if it's a blog you'd be interested in reading. If you are, you can find it at:
www.insanelybusy.blogspot.com

If the need to keep sane with an insane schedule describes you, join me in my continuing journey of keeping my sanity in the midst of an insane schedule.

There was a time I would have described myself as organized. I would have said that for the most part I could tell you where what was in my house. I could quickly retrieve whatever document you needed from my organized files. I knew what my schedule was for the next month, probably the next year. I could honestly say I didn't remember being late on a payment.

I loved organization. I loved to organize more than I loved to clean, yet still, my house was clean and tidy. And I kept it so with my busy schedule. At least I thought I was busy. Granted, I was busy--but sanely busy.

The challenge came when I moved from what I call being sanely busy to being insanely busy. Maintaining the same level of organization with a time crunch became a monumental challenge.

The challenge was to find a way to streamline my organizational style in such a manner that I could turn an insanely busy schedule into a sanely busy schedule.

In the days that follow I will be writing of the many aspects of organization. Your input is always welcome!

The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock

2009-03-24T20:00:00.001-04:00

I've always loved this picture. I can't look at it without thinking of the song, "The wise man built his house upon the rock...."

This was an actual house built upon a rock in the frontier town of Puerto Ayacucho, Venezuela. The rock was definitely a norm for the area, but the only one with a house balanced at the top! I'd never seen anything like it before--and I've definitely not seen anything like it since!

Anybody got any unique house shots to share with me?

Three Men & Three Wild Cats

2009-03-23T20:30:00.002-04:00

There were three wild cats taking out the chicken population by night. Losing their fear they became emboldened and started to raid the chickens by day. During this time I found myself having coffee with my husband, our co-workers and our visiting Pastor and his wife when a tribal man came hurrying into the house to let us know the wild cats were back.

It was at this point that I had to shake my head as three men ran out of the house after three wild cats with one shotgun---and one shell. Turning to Elaine, our Pastor's wife, I had to ask if this made any sense.

Several minutes later Pastor Ron arrived back at the house. His bad knee had slowed him down. Finding himself alone in the jungle with no gun he also came to the conclusion that three men chasing three wild cats with one shotgun and one shell didn't quite add up---especially when you're nowhere near the one man with the one shotgun and one shell!

I was thankful to later find out the wild cats were of the smaller version, still vicious and capable of inflicting harm, but not like having jaguars or cougars roaming the village! Oh, and yes, the other two men came home safely as well.

Feeling Relaxed

2009-03-19T06:30:00.005-04:00

Imagine five days with no real responsibilities. No laundry, no planning of meals, no work schedule--for that matter, no schedule!

Imagine five days of chatting with your best friend (who just happens to be your sister) during which time you don't solve all of life's problems, but come to the calm assurance that you can't--but that it really doesn't matter. God is in control.

Imagine five days to get to know your great-niece and nephew for the adorable little people they are!

Imagine five days that includes multiple walks on the beach with the magnificence of God's creation awing you.

There's nothing like five days as described above to leave you feeling refreshed and relaxed.

That's where I'm at this morning. Relaxed though back to the world of responsibility.

A New Commander-in-Chief

2009-03-12T06:34:00.001-04:00

Our children, even when grown, are still our children. The love in our hearts for them does not change even though our role in their lives changes drastically. We go from "commander-in-chief" to an "advisory role." Presently our two oldest are looking at having a distinctly new "commander-in-chief." They are looking at signing on the dotted line in the military.

Several hours of helping them fill out forms to pass national security clearance requirements and it all seemed very real.

What is my reaction as a mother?

I've been given the distinct impression by some that I'm supposed to be terrified. I'm supposed to be pleading with them to not go. I'm supposed to be telling them that somehow, by serving their country they will ruin their lives, that somehow God isn't big enough to protect them spiritually in the military.

I was raised in what I'd call a protected environment for the most part. You know, "Don't drink, smoke or dance and don't go out with guys that do." And then I took my children to a remote jungle village where the light of Gospel had not yet penetrated....

They witnessed drunken parties that went on for days as children wandered in hunger hoping that soon dad and mom would sober up and feed them. The children were often at our door begging for crackers or something to eat.

They saw wives hiding their husbands' shotguns so they wouldn't get killed in a drunken rage.

They complained during drunken parties that they had to wear shoes because the village through which we walked was wet with drunken vomit.

They lived in a village where culture dictated that reaching puberty meant a celebration where the young woman got all fancied up—and then drank herself into a drunken stupor before the whole village, usually passing out before the homemade booze ran out.

They lived in a village where polygamy was acceptable, where the second wife was called "the wife's rival," where they even had a special verb that meant it was "stingy" for women to say "no" to sexual advances, and where men returned from town and bragged to others of their sexual encounters with prostitutes while their wives listened on with no recourse.

They saw these same people face death by snakebite, by disease, by suicide.

They also saw these same spiritually darkened people as friends in need of a Savior. They were privileged to see the transforming power of God's saving grace in the lives of people once bound in darkness and sin.

We could have not gone. We could have not exposed our children to this immoral culture. But how would the tribal people have heard of God's great love if no one went? How would the tribal people have heard of God's saving grace if we all stayed where it was safe and comfortable? (Check out Romans 10:14!)

We taught our children, we protected them as much as we could, and we entrusted their spiritual welfare into the hands of our Heavenly Father.

They are adults now making adult decisions in a complicated world in crisis. We recognize they are always at risk to be wrongly influenced by the world. We recognize the fact it is up to them to make right choices. Though we have taught them, we realize we won't always be able to protect them, and we continue to entrust their spiritual welfare into the hands of their Heavenly Father...wherever He leads them.

Safely Home From Guatemala!

2009-03-11T08:08:00.004-04:00

More stories will follow I'm sure, but suffice to say for now that Matt arrived home safely from Guatemala!

After picking him up at the airport in Rochester, I listened to story after story on the ride home. Stories about the guys getting lost and being an hour and a half late to pick Matt & Doug up at the airport. Stories about all the volcanoes they saw, the drop off winding mountain roads, the warm days but cool evenings. Stories about the people and the opportunities to have input into their lives. I listened---and tried to stay awake!

We pulled into our driveway sometime after 2 a.m. this morning. The alarm this morning was not a welcomed sound!

Time Is a Strange Thing

2009-03-10T06:39:00.002-04:00

Time is a strange thing. It seems like forever since Matt left for Guatemala---and it seems like just yesterday! In reality it has been five days. Granted, a lot can happen in five days! Later this evening I will be picking Matt up at the airport. I look forward to not just seeing him, but to hearing of what adventures the Lord has given him in these past five days!

Safe Arrival in Guatemala!

2009-03-06T14:20:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I wrote that Matt was on his way to Guatemala. This morning I was semi-bemoaning the fact that I didn't have any contact with him. No phone calls. No e-mail. No texts. Nothing.

And then my phone rang.

"Unavailable" flashed across the digital readout. To answer or not to answer? I decided to answer and was so glad I did! It was great to hear my husband's voice. Admittedly, there was an extravagant amount of background noise, but it was definitely him. He'd arrived safely, had spent the night in the capital city, and was heading to his friend's house as we spoke.

Matt will be in Guatemala until Tuesday. He has been given the opportunity to meet with a group of pastors down there, to speak at a combined service of two of the local churches, plus one other speaking engagement. Please be in prayer for Matt, for safety in all his travels, and for clarity and relevance in what he shares with these Guatemalan believers.

Belief Affects Action

2009-03-06T06:00:00.003-05:00

There was a table in the bedroom when we moved in. I didn't want a table in the bedroom but it didn't seem possible to get it out through the doorway! After several failed attempts, I sat down on the bed and thought about it. It seemed reasonable to presume the table had been made elsewhere and brought into the room. If that was true, then it stood to reason that there was a way to get it out of the room! I studied the table. I studied the angles of the doorway. And then the idea came. I tried it out—and it worked!

I didn't understand the perplexed look on my father-in-law's face when he came over to visit and saw the table in the living room—until he explained. When they were cleaning the house for our arrival, since he couldn't get the table out through the doorway he'd presumed it had been made in the room and would have to stay!

How we view life could be paralleled to how we view the table in the bedroom. What we believe to be true will affect our actions. That being true, what do our actions say about our beliefs?

And He's Off to Guatemala!

2009-03-05T06:16:00.007-05:00

As I write this my husband is boarding a plane for Guatemala! Yes, he is temporarily escaping the cold! (Am I jealous or what?!)

Having a ministry predominantly to Hispanic men who are migrant workers here in Central New York, they have often expressed a desire that he visit their country, that he preach in their church, that he see where they are from. And the opportunity arose!

My husband will be in Guatemala for five days, staying in the home of one of the men we know. He has been given the opportunity to meet with a group of pastors down there, to speak at a combined service of two of the local churches, plus one other speaking engagement. Please be in prayer for Matt, for safety in all his travels, and for clarity and relevance in what he shares with these Guatemalan believers.

And the Purpose for Mosquito Nets?

2009-03-04T06:00:00.003-05:00

Mosquito nets are multipurpose. Thankfully, when my parents were visiting us in the village of Toki, their minds immediately went to the presumed use behind mosquito nets—to keep out mosquitos.

We were sleeping in hammocks at the time but I didn't know how they would handle that. Not having the necessary supplies to make a real bed, we put together a low frame on the ground that would support a queen size foam mattress. Lovingly I made the bed in preparation for their arrival with a mosquito net hung above it.

That first night as they prepared for bed I gave explicit instructions on how they had to be sure the mosquito net was tugged in on all sides. Lying against the side of the mattress was not enough. It had to be tugged in.

They probably thought we had the biggest and worst of mosquitos. We did not. What we did have were an overabundance of rats! Toki, I'm sure, was where the Pied Piper led all the rats to!

Thankfully they are good listeners and the mosquito net did the trick. They never encountered any uninvited guests in their bed during the night!

Not My Will But Thine

2009-03-03T06:00:00.003-05:00

While living in one area of Venezuela we faced the threat of guerrillas. It was unsettling to think that Colombian guerrillas/terrorists known to have killed other missionaries in the organization we then worked with could possibly come to where we were, could possibly kill outright or kidnap and hold for ransom some of our friends—or ourselves.

Under those circumstances you reach the point where yesterday's posting, "Being Safe Isn't all It Is Cracked up to Be," has to become a reality in your life. You know beyond a shadow of doubt that you are living in the center of God's will. You also know you can't console your coworker with false words of hope. You can't say that it won't happen because God just wouldn't allow it. You can't say that since we're living in the center of God's will that we're invincible!

It's a matter of acceptance. It's a matter of saying, "Not my will but Thine be done!"

Jesus got it. Jesus could have stayed in heaven and been invincible. Instead He was obedient to His Father's will. He left heaven. He was born in a dirty manger. He lived what we'd now call an impoverished life without all the modern conveniences we take for granted. He spent three years teaching people and His disciples.

In the end one of His disciples sold Him out—and the world at large rejected Him. They mocked Him. They beat Him. They hung Him on a cross to suffer unimaginable pain. And HE gave up HIS life to make a way possible for mankind to be reconciled with His Heavenly Father, to make His Heavenly Father their Heavenly Father.

Jesus was man, but He was God. He knew all this was going to happen. He knew, but He still came. He knew, but He still submitted to the will of His Heavenly Father. He agonized in prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane before being arrested. His ending prayer? "Not My will but Thine be done!"

As we face trials that we'd prefer not to face, I pray we will be imitators of Christ, that we will pray, "Not my will but thine be done!"

Being Safe Isn't all It's Cracked up to Be

2009-03-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

I've heard it said more times than not that the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. It sounds good, but what do they mean by it? Is it even scriptural? Does it mean that if I'm in the center of God's will that I am safe from harm? Safe from danger? Can I claim invincibility if I'm in the center of God's will?

If we only read the first part of Hebrews 11 we'd be ready to don that cloak of invincibility! There we read of men who through faith stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, and escaped the edge of the sword. We read of women who had their loved ones raised from the dead!

Doesn't that sound great? Doesn't that sound like invincibility?

But then there's part two. Suddenly we're reading of men and women who remained faithful to God despite facing affliction, torment, torture, imprisonment and death.

Doesn't sound so great, does it? Doesn't sound much like a cloak of invincibility, does it?

Being safe isn't all it's cracked up to be. Being in the center of God's will is! I don't want to be invincible, but I want to serve a God who is!

From the Mouths of Babes

2009-02-28T11:30:00.001-05:00

When the twins were little, Gramma would often take them to the river to cool off—and to give me, the mom, some time to speed clean the house!

One such day as they walked through the village on their way to the river a week-long drunken party was taking place. Obviously people were not on their best behavior.

"Gramma, why are they doing bad things?" one of the twins asked.

"When people get drunk they do bad things," Gramma explained in a nutshell.

Thoughtful for a moment, the twin then responded, "Sometimes I'm drunk."

The Village Laundromat

2009-02-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

People love before and after shots. I could show you a before and after shot of my laundry closet to the right—and yes, it was a definite improvement! Greater yet is the improvement of my present laundry facilities compared to the laundry facilities in our early years in Venezuela. Going to the village laundromat meant scrubbing clothes on a rock or overturned dugout canoe in the river.

Which is better? My automatic washer and dryer are definitely better! I love not having to try to wring out clothes well enough that they'll dry before they sour. I love being able to do something else while the washer and dryer do all the work!

With yesterday's blog being about being thankful, I must say I am really thankful for my modern laundry facilities!

Thankfulness in a Time of Economic Depression

2009-02-26T06:00:00.008-05:00

We're in a time of economic depression. People are facing uncertainties. People wonder what the future holds. People are suddenly more cautious in their spending, in their planning, in how they view their jobs. Life has changed—but God has not!

So what do we focus on in times like this? On the hardships? On the uncertainties? On the lack of funds? On the loss of a job—or the possible loss of a job?

I think not. In fact, I think it best to focus on all the things, little and big, that we have to be thankful for! In Hebrews 13:5 we're instructed to be content. So often contentment and thankfulness go hand in hand. And so, here goes... .

I am thankful for...

...my healthy family.

...the sun shining in my eyes on the way to work—a rare occurrence here in central New York!

...children that respect and obey us—and are just fun to be with!

...parents that raised me in a loving Christian home.

...Mocha, my Jack Russell Terrier that gives me my cuddle times and makes me feel special!

...food on the table!

...a husband that is a godly man who looks after me, encourages me, makes me smile and is my best friend.

...our home—a refuge at the end of a long day.

...my job with all it's variety. Working the 11pm-7am shift for a year and a half at a factory REALLY makes me appreciate my present job!

...older sons that will actually sit and talk with me! It's fun having friendships with adult children!

...a daughter(-in-law) that understands how I think—in contrast to my four sons at times!

...a sister that, though miles away, is always close to my heart.

...electricity and hot running water. (Yeah, we lived long enough in a tribal situation where that really did not exist!)

...the ice-maker in my freezer. (I love the sound of the ice falling, already formed, into the ice tray.)

...friends. (How does one live without them?!)

...my Heavenly Father who loves me despite my failures, encourages me, strengthens me, and makes all the difference in my life.

What do YOU have to be thankful for?

Do You Live in the City or in the Jungle?

2009-02-25T05:30:00.001-05:00

Our children are a source of joy to us. Sometimes they bring a smile to our face at the unexpected response that slips from their lips. One such unexpected response occurred when our twins were being taught Kindergarten by our co-worker.

Realizing that since the twins lived in a remote jungle village, that they had little concept of what a city was, Jane attempted to explain. Feeling confident they were understanding, she went on to ask, "So where do you live? In the city or in the jungle?"

Without missing a beat, the twins responded in unison, "In the city!"

Jane looked at them a bit bewildered. The village around them was definitely not a city. There were no street lights. There were no streets! There were no hospitals or stores. On the contrary, there was a grass airstrip that allowed access to the village of palm-roofed huts in the middle of the jungle.

"But don't you live in the jungle?" she questioned them.

"No," the twins insisted. "The jungle is out there!"

The jungle was out there where their mother had warned them they were never to wander. The jungle was out there where cougars, jaguars, snakes and other dangerous creatures lived. The jungle was beyond the border of the village, and therefore, their young minds reasoned, the village must be a city!

What unexpected responses from your kids do you have to share with me?!

Being Still in the Storm

2009-02-24T06:00:00.010-05:00

"Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10)

I have a framed copy of this verse in my home office. In the midst of a hectic life when at times more things seem to vie for my time, energy and effort than seems realistic, there's a peace in this verse. There's the knowledge that all the activity and demands on my life don't have to consume me. It's okay to set them aside, to just be STILL and to know, not just in an intellectual manner, but in the depths of my soul, that HE is GOD.

Knowing God makes all the difference. Admittedly, the demands of life don't go away. Bills still need to be paid, taxes still need to be filed, the house still needs to be cleaned, the paperwork piles still need to be gone through—but knowing God puts all the demands, all the activity, into a different perspective. Suddenly I can be at rest in the midst of a whirlwind. I can be still and know that He is God.

Missing Toddlers and Big Cats

2009-02-23T06:00:00.003-05:00

I always felt the village was generally a safe place to raise our children—as long as they stayed in the village. There was that one day when our twins were toddlers that I feared the worst.

The twins were playing happily in the puddles near the front of the house. I could hear their chatter as I headed for the bathroom. I was only gone for a few minutes....

When I came out I realized the chatter was gone. I glanced out the windows and there were no twins in sight. I wasn't panicking—at least not yet. I headed for the door to go see if they had disappeared to Gramma and Grampa's place a few doors down—but Gramma was walking in our front door!

"The twins aren't at your house?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Don't panic! I told myself as I dashed out the door in the direction of the river. It was a ten minute walk to the port, but I had to be sure they weren't there. Others were searching close to the house.

Reaching the port in record time I found women washing their laundry—but no twins. No one had seen nor heard them.

I was on my way back to the house when a young Maquiritare girl met me with news that the twins had been found. They were found walking along a jungle trail between the slash and burn gardens holding hands, maybe to give them courage?

The jungle wasn't in the same category in my mind as the village. The jungle was not on my safe list. It was a place where cougars could roam. It was a place where snakes could strike. It was a place I did not want my toddler twins to be.

Reaching the house to find the twins safe motherly fear surfaced in these words, "Don't you know a "big kitty" (their name for a cougar) could have ate you!"

Maybe not the best in wording, but they never wandered off again!

Anaconda

2009-02-21T20:29:00.002-05:00

One of the greatest fears of the river would be encountering an anaconda. Thankfully I never encountered one—but my husband and boys did! They were returning home from a relatively unsuccessful hunting trip when they came upon this anaconda swimming in the river. Not that they would have looked for one, but when the river is the laundromat, the local water hole and the bathing area for the various villages along the river, well, anacondas are just not welcomed! My husband tried to convince me that was the last one in the river and I had no worries. Hmmm... . Wouldn't you have liked to believe him?

The Great Chicken-Slayer

2009-02-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

Our son was only six at the time, so when he came to his father and asked if he could go kill a chicken, Matt, being a bit distracted and presuming this was all in play said, "Sure."

Off our son went in search of chicken to kill... .

A short while later a very pleased "Chicken-Slayer" arrived with his prey. Thankfully it was only a dead peep in his hands and not a full grown chicken! Of course, the dead peep was still more than Matt had bargained for. It presented the challenge of explaining cross-culturally with his still limited language ability the "why" behind the fact that our son had just killed someone's peep! Thankfully, they saw the humor in the situation!

Blooming Spiritually

2009-02-19T06:00:00.002-05:00

There are flowers in my office. They came with the job. They were once beautiful. And now? They cycle between blooming and beautifully green—and withering with brown leaves falling to the carpet, with cracked dirt in the pots resembling a parched desert land. Okay, I admit it, the withering part of the cycle is of longer duration than the blooming and beautifully green!

You've got it. I don't have a green thumb. I think plants are a beautiful part of creation but I just don't seem to notice as they begin to wither away.

The amazing part is, that with a little tender loving care, they still bring forth new life when I get around to noticing them and giving them attention. Amidst the look of brown, dying leaves, suddenly new green leaves appear. Flowers bloom where death once seemed certain.

Thankfully God isn't like that with us. He doesn't forget to "water" us. He doesn't get caught up with projects and neglect us. But isn't that how we sometimes are in our spiritual lives? We start to feel dry and parched and realize we've been neglecting to feed ourselves spiritually. Thankfully, just as flowers can bloom again when they seem on the verge of death, so God can bring us out of our spiritually dry desert and infuse new life within us. He has promised to complete the good work HE has begun in our lives. Will we comply?

We Applaud Their Committment

2009-02-18T07:00:00.002-05:00

Yearly soccer tournaments take place amongst the tribal communities of Venezuela. Living in the midst of the Amazon jungle means each village must clear and then maintain an area large enough for a soccer field from the dense jungle—often with only machetes and axes. Soccer is important to them, probably ranking in importance close to how we rank the Olympics. The village where we last ministered nearly emptied of people heading off to these games. We can feel their excitement. We’ve been there. It’s a big deal.

We applaud their commitment.

Thankfully, they are committed to more than just that. They are committed to God. We were more than thrilled and blessed in our hearts to hear the reason behind the nearly emptying of the village was not merely for the pull of the games, but for the love of God. The church saw this gathering of many tribal groups from many villages as an opportunity for an evangelistic outreach.

The heavens, along with us, applaud their commitment.

Please pray for the Maquiritare tribal church, that they would continue to walk in the truths of God’s Word, that they would continue to follow the Lord, and that they would continue the missionary endeavor, not only amongst their own people, but amongst the other tribal groups with whom they brush shoulders.

Thank you for praying.